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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28223685">Growing Up with Sleepy Bois</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/0martyfromthe0party'>0martyfromthe0party (orphan_account)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dream Team SMP Spoilers, Gen, Post-Manberg-Pogtopia War on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Pre-Manberg-Pogtopia War on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, sleepy bois inc - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:26:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>21,544</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28223685</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/0martyfromthe0party</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically each chapter is each year of philza and the sleepy bois but they're also like a family (if that makes sense)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clay | Dream &amp; Wilbur Soot, Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; Wilbur Soot, Wilbur Soot &amp; Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade, Wilbur Soot &amp; TommyInnit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>121</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Year Zero</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>getting right into it<br/>real names unless techno, eret, and fundy (or just unknown)<br/>ships are strictly plot or canon unless stated otherwise<br/>shortest chapper (intentionally spelt wrong like seriously, soooooome of you guys think im dumbbbbbbb. i mean i am but you don't have to SAY IT)<br/>slow updates = better quality and longer stories :)<br/></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>NOVEMBER:</strong>
</p><p>phil woke up to the sound of a sink running in his generally standard hotel room. he sat with a long yawn and a slight groan.</p><p>"sorry, did i wake you?", caroline, his wife of 2 years, called from the bathroom.</p><p>"nah, i needed to get up anyways. what time is it?"</p><p>"around 11. ready to go?"</p><p>"after i get ready? for sure."</p><p>today was a very special day for the married couple. they were finally going to tell phil's parents about caroline's pregnancy. they'd been postponing it way too long. if it was up to phil, he'd probably wait until the baby moved out to tell them. his parents weren't really accepting of anything going on in his life. it wasn't like he was a daring hippie traveling the world. he was an author, he had a wife, and a stable income. simply, his parents were just overprotective and extremely judgmental. they were the type of people to say 'i object' at someone's wedding...and they did.</p><p>on the ride there, caroline held his arm the entire time. his nerves were getting the best of him but he tried not to dwell on it. at a stop light, he turned to look at her baby bump. 9 months already. he was doing the right thing. he knew he was. phil shook off the nerves and went down the street of his childhood home. being a really sick child, he didn't spend much time there. mostly just in and out of hospitals. if he could prevent it, he did not want a childhood like that happening to the baby.</p><p>like he expected, his parents reaction was not very friendly.</p><p>"ah, so you're having an abortion? i totally support the decision."</p><p>"mom, we're keeping it."</p><p>"oh, oh, oh no. baby, no.", she sighed.</p><p>"and now you've upset your mother. cannot believe you.", his old man groaned.</p><p>he was glad he suggested caroline stay in the car. she wouldn't have tolerated this and probably would've slapped his mother on the first comment, let alone the second one. he sat in his chair, squirming, feeling like he was in middle school again. he just wanted to disappear forever after this.</p><p>"i don't even know why you're telling us this. this is gaslighting, you know?", the old woman said. and she was right, somewhat. if phil had flew back just to tell his mother his wife was pregnant out of spite, it definitely would be. but he had other intentions...</p><p>"i wanted to invite you guys. to...to the gender reveal. we..um...we wanted it here so you guys could come."</p><p>"how far along is she?", his father asked.</p><p>"9 months, last week."</p><p>"too far for a forced abortion", his father whispered to his mother but phil heard loud and clear, "guess there's nothin' we can do anyways, linda."</p><p>the strobe lights of the maternity clinic were much nicer and lighter than the ones he experienced growing up. his parents didn't really seem interested at all in what was happening but he and caroline looked at the doctor with great anticipation.</p><p>"okay, mom and dad, are you ready?", the doctor said with a smile.</p><p>the couple nodded and his parents looked up from their phones, "this baby has 30 toes and 30 fingers."</p><p>"oh great, you made a handicap.", his mother said with an eye roll.</p><p>"um...no. i'm assuming she's the grandma. you're gonna have triplets. two boys and one girl."</p><p>phil, being in shock, could do nothing but smile and nod. he didn't even know what to say. so he just kept nodding and smiling. a dad. a real dad. and three kiddos. uno, dos, and tres. </p><p>"this next information is strictly closest relative to the mother.", the doctor said.</p><p>"closest relative?", phil asked, thinking he had to leave.</p><p>"oh no, it's just a more inclusive term. if you're the father, i need to ask that everyone except you and momma here leaves."</p><p>phil's parents were obviously annoyed by this information but left all the same. the doctor asked phil to sit as she looked something over on her clipboard.</p><p>"well, as you know, dad here has a lot of health issues going on.", she dropped her demeanor and took off her glasses for emphasis, "it's unlikely that all 3 will survive. as doctors, absolute bare minimum is one. being totally honest, it's a miracle if mom here even survives."</p><p>caroline gasped loudly and held her stomach, "is there anything we can do to prevent this? anything at all?"</p><p>"no, i'm afraid it's pretty inevitable. while we could perform an abortion this late, it's risky, it'll damage your uterus, preventing any further pregnancies, and like abortions do, it would kill all 3. you don't have to decide right now. soon, of course, since she is pretty far along but give me a call back at the end of the day?"</p><p>the car ride back to the hotel was pretty silent. even phil's parents must have knew something was up, they didn't say a single snarky comment or back-handed statement. only asking if the couple wanted to stay the night at their's. they didn't obviously, they needed to talk and it couldn't be done in phil's small childhood bedroom.</p><p>phil and caroline sat at the end of the bed, occasional glances at each other.</p><p>"puffy", phil said bringing out her old nickname, "it's your choice."</p><p>"i know it's my choice, damnnit. but what do you think?!", she said with a random burst of anger. neither were really yellers so, it definitely shocked the both of them.</p><p>"at the end of the day, i really don't know. at all. i mean, this is like a lot. you know?"</p><p>"yeah...same. but i...i wanna try, phil."</p><p>"not to be that guy but we can just adopt, you know? there's other options."</p><p>"babe, we already came this far, let's just see what happens. alright?"</p><p>phil nodded and held her hand. they were gonna do it. actually gonna do it. definitely more nerve-racking than telling his parents, that's for sure.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>DECEMBER</strong>
</p><p>it was the second. the day it happened. she went into labor on a cold winter morning. not to early, just around 10 which was definitely ideal timing. phil wasn't allowed in the emergency room since she was so high risk but was easily freaking out in the waiting room. he asked his parents not to come too. if something did happen, he didn't want them to see how he reacted. it hadn't even happened yet and he was already panicking. after an hour of waiting, he was allowed into the emergency room. things seemed calm, quiet, peaceful. </p><p>he walked over to his wife and saw the two babies she was holding in her arms...one...two. one was gone.</p><p>"w-what happened?"</p><p>"they made it but...the girl. she was already dead."</p><p>"baby, i am so so sorry. how are you feeling?"</p><p>"just peachy, phil.", she said with a bright smile.</p><p>"but...she's dead, puff."</p><p>"yes, phil. i know that. please stop reminding me. but i'm alive and william's alive and technoblade's alive."</p><p>"we aren't naming them that."</p><p>"why not?"</p><p>"william, fine. technoblade? i'd bully him."</p><p>"don't be a downer."</p><p>"alright, which one's william and which one's technoblade?"</p><p>"pink hair is technoblade and brown hair is william."</p><p>"can we get some nicknames in here? i'm already tired of their three syllable names."</p><p>"techno and wilbur?"</p><p>"sounds wonderful."</p><hr/><p>techno and wilbur's first christmas. phil got behind the camera and took a couple photos before saying different commands.</p><p>"come on, boys, you gotta smile."</p><p>"babe, i think they're sleeping."</p><p>"aw, man. and here i was, trying to take cute first christmas photos. not fair, they're only days old at their first christmas."</p><p>"look, i'm sure you can go all out for their second christmas."</p><p>"hey, puff, what do you think i should do with all the presents in the car?"</p><p>"phil, you got them presents?!"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Year 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>early babies are boring, kinda short but all they do at this age is like sleep</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>JANUARY</strong>
</p><p>not to insult his own children but he was glad they finally started looking more and more like actual people. before their first month, all babies look kinda weird. though he wouldn't admit if held to gunpoint, phil was <em>that</em> parent for wilbur and techno. from the mom blogs to the tummy time, he really went all out. </p><p>after caroline went out to have a "date with herself", the young father got to work. he pulled out the tummy time mats and waited. after putting them on there, what do you do next? watch? wilbur enjoyed watching him, though. their staring contests never lasted long but it was definitely something they did often. techno, on the other hand, did not enjoy being held or looking at anyone. phil wouldn't say it but techno was pretty boring when he thought about it. nonetheless, he loved them equally.</p><p>"wilbur, techno,", he began after reading something that said you should talk to your babies, "wanna hear about my day? can't talk. right. well, woke up a little late, went grocery shopping, wrote a couple chapters on my new novel, and got some gaming in. only like 3 kills in the first round but i totally carried in the se--"</p><p>phil was cut off by...wilbur smiling at him. he knew it wasn't odd or anything for a baby to smile at that age but it still warmed his heart and definitely made his year.</p><p>"you...you wanna hear more?", he said pulling out his phone to facetime caroline, "um...I talked with BBH today. we're watching new girl together and we're getting pretty far. grey's anatomy is next."</p><p>wilbur just kept smiling and smiling and after a while, he could've sworn he heard a laugh. a laugh. that was definitely something rare for his age.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>FEBURARY</strong>
</p><p>important life lesson from phil: you are your child's first boyfriend. don't mess it up. admittedly, he did spend valentine's day and the day before with only his wife but he made sure to spend the next day loving wilbur and techno the best he could. they still were babies, not much you can really do. luckily, he had polar opposite boys. techno would rather spend the day looking out the window while wilbur would rather look in his face all day. compromising, he sat next to techno while putting his carrier near the window while he scrolled through his phone. mostly tumblr and other stuff. wilbur had begun babbling awhile ago and i'm sure you could imagine their excitement the first day but after like 3 days it just got annoying. </p><p>after nodding and nodding at wilbur's constant babbling, he began to slightly drift off to sleep. only a quick nap. but wilbur wanted someone to listen to him. so he started this shouting thing when he was being ignored. just stopping his quiet babbling and yelling. for the longest time, whenever wilbur wanted something, he wouldn't cry. he would yell. night, day, rain, sun. yelling.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>NOVEMBER</strong>
</p><p>by november, the babies were already walking and eating finger foods. a good time in their development. techno had always been less social than wilbur but phil and caroline assumed it was nothing more than some later development but, news flash, wasn't the case. the first day techno stopped eating seemed to cause a rift in their universe.</p><p>"phil, hun, can you come in here?"</p><p>the blonde turned around the kitchen corner to look at techno and his wife, still eating dinner.</p><p>"he's not hungry."</p><p>"so?"</p><p>"<em>so</em>, he hasn't eaten breakfast or lunch."</p><p>"we skip breakfast and lunch sometimes too. what are you on about?"</p><p>"well we aren't babies, philza. He needs to eat.", she said bringing the full name out.</p><p>"we can't force it, puff. but if you want, I'll call the doctor."</p><p>"no, I'll speak to her about it at their check-up tomorrow. i...i just hope that he's alright. maybe..."</p><p>he knew what came after maybe. she said the maybe anytime anything went wrong with either wilbur or techno. phil thought about the maybe often but tried not to say it as it was already implied. the maybe was that...maybe two weren't meant to survive. </p><p>"no maybe. we're good. <em>e</em><em>very</em> child goes through this. every."</p><p>good news, techno not eating is perfectly normal and apparently he just wants to try different foods. bad news, he's autistic. well not bad news. just unexpected. although it was hidden greatly, wilbur and techno felt the energy of their house change with that information. the parents didn't tell anyone- whether it was from embarrassment or the fact that it was no one's business was unknown to themselves.</p><p>
  <strong>DECEMBER</strong>
</p><p>by december, the information wasn't even a slight thought in the back of their heads with either parents. especially considering that instead of literally fucking dying, their son isn’t neurotypical. having anti-social parents who refused to send the twins to any sort of daycare made the party a drag before philza could even put his mark on it. it was basically a saturday gathering with presents and techno and wilbur were allowed to join the adults. the adults at the twins' (or maybe triplets', technically) first birthday were philza, caroline, BBH, sam, and antfrost. bbh, being the illustrator of philza's books, sam, being caroline's assistant baker, and antfrost, being philza and bhh's editor.</p><p>feeling extremely guilty about the twins' shitty birthday, both parents went all out for christmas. decorating the house- inside and out-, christmas movies, christmas stories, pictures with santa--</p><p>"puff, no!"</p><p>"it is their first christmas! william, technoblade, you're gonna take pictures with this fat, old, white man whether you like it or not!"</p><p>it's easy to say that mall santa wasn't for them. or any santa. they were more attached to reindeer and christmas trees, basically anything except santa--, christmas presents, christmas cookies, christmas caroling, and christmas sweaters. they were basically that family on the cover of those mom magazines that tell you why you're a shitty parent.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>they do kinda be ableist  but they grow out of it</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Year Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>i forgot how babies work developmental-wise, don't think about it too much. just know they're one until dec</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>JANUARY</strong>
</p><p>just as soon as the boys started barely walking and talking, the sooner they started terrorizing each other. by january, techno had caught up to wilbur and other children their age significantly. while he didn't interact with anyone except wilbur yet, he had been babbling to his brother a lot more. talking just as much as him and walking a little behind but still a socially acceptable amount.</p><p>"alright, we've been practicing. show mama how far you can walk.", phil cooed to his sons.</p><p>the boys weren't too far in front of them and were on top of a bunch of pillows to break their fall. techno started first but when wilbur saw him, he pulled his brother by the hair back. not being a big crier, techno was fine but hit his brother back, making wilbur -in fact- cry. not that it was a race, techno made it first while wilbur stopped half-way.</p><p>caroline swooped up wilbur while phil picked up techno, "now boys, you know we don't hit." while wilbur was already drifting off to sleep after his eventful moment, techno stared her deep in to her eyes and kicked her lightly. no clue what was implied by that.</p><p>
  <strong>FEBURARY</strong>
</p><p>the blossoming interests for their sons sucked ass for the couple in feburary. sure, they're were becoming more people-like but there interests seemed to only be to bother each other as much as possible. not in a hateful way, the boys still made up after a while but when they did fight, <em>they fought</em>. feburary 21 was a day like such.</p><p>"now, mommy and i are gonna hang out. play nice, okay?", he said, leaving them in the nursery.</p><p>them 'hanging out' was just them leaving the room while the boys got tired and more willing to their nap. of course, the nursery had a camera baby monitor, watching the boys at all times. it started off fine. just techno watching wilbur play with a toy car. as time went on, they moved to blocks. wilbur was stacking his blocks as high as he could while techno's were side-ways in some strange order. there wasn't a problem until techno ran out of blocks and began taking wilbur's. the brunette obviously didn't take lightly to this theft and began hitting his brother to make him stop. neither parents were looking at the camera at the time and didn't stop it so, techno put matters into his own hands. he backhanded his brother making the other twin burst out tears, making both parents rush in.</p><p>"maybe we can play with different toys. hmm? tech with the stuffies and will with the blocks. "</p><p>while wilbur had been saying words for quite a while, techno hadn't so phil and caroline were obviously shocked when he put a hand on a block and said, "mine."</p><p>of course, he didn't speak for a very long time after that. and by a very long time, i mean the next fucking year.</p><p>
  <strong>MARCH</strong>
</p><p>march was consisted of the anniversary of their first date. it wasn't really romantic, it mainly consisted of the couple sitting awkwardly across from caroline's family. last year, they wiggled out of it with the babies and all but now that the boys were older they didn't really have an excuse.</p><p>while caroline's family was much nicer than phil's, there was still that pinch of in-law awkwardness. "so, philza, um...you still an author?", her father asked.</p><p>"steven! you don't have to answer that.", her mother assured.</p><p>"what?! no questions?"</p><p>"yes, sir. i am still an author."</p><p>"authors are broke. nobody reads anymore, wise guy.", jack, caroline's 14-year-old brother, scoffed.</p><p>it wasn't taken to heart, jack was only kidding and he was definitely friends with the boy before he even knew caroline. the entire maternal side of the family groaned and scolded at his comment.</p><p>however, of course it didn't stop the extrovert, "you should pursue video games. like a streamer or something."</p><p>"anyways", her mother interrupted, not a fan of her son's idea, "how has it been going? it's been too long. the babies happy and healthy?"</p><p>"obviously, mom.", caroline replied.</p><p>"never hurts to ask, eh? how about financially, hmm? four people on an author's salary? a baker's?"</p><p>"we're doing fine, mommy. you know i'd tell you if we weren't."</p><p>"right, right. so...um...considering a third child?"</p><p>
  <strong>JUNE</strong>
</p><p>being loyal citizens to the uk meant constant rain and from watching american tv shows with lots of sunny days, neither boys were happy with it. when wilbur became a "professional walker", all the twins wanted to do was go outside. unfortunately, mother nature said no.</p><p>wilbur woke up and began shaking phil awake. no clue where caroline was. without speaking, he guided his father to the largest window in the house near the front.</p><p>"daddy, rain."</p><p>"yes, it is raining. what about it?"</p><p>without knowing the words to answer his question, he merely pouted which was worth a million words to philza.</p><p>"i'm sorry, bud. how about a movie?"</p><p>wilbur nodded and did a little dance, conveying his happiness for their rare movie days.</p><p>"alright, i'm gonna go get tech. find some blankets, alright?"</p><p>easy to say that technoblade was way more interested in the first movie than phil and wilbur combined. the movie they chose was cinderella and to be honest, it didn't automatically click for him. looking out the window and such until cinderella turned into a princess from the fairy godmother. still having trouble with his interactions, he just turned to phil and wilbur in shock as if to say 'you guys are seeing this too?'. they had to watch the movie two more times until they were allowed to change it. </p><p>wilbur preferred peter pan. and he liked it from the very beginning. the pretty girl, the flying hero, fairies, pirates, swords, and guns. he couldn't look away to save his life. but unlike his brother, he communicated it before, during, and after.</p><p>"bang! bang! look!"</p><p>"i'm looking, will."</p><p>he even pretended to make techno walk the plank. he wasn't having it of course- not understanding why his brother was pushing him off the couch while shouting 'bang' -but wilbur did try.</p><p>
  <strong>NOVEMBER</strong>
</p><p>wanting a more special 2nd birthday party, phil started planning a month in advance. so, they scheduled a time to bring out the notebooks and just talk about their goals.</p><p>phil started their brief discussion, "so we're inviting my parents?"</p><p>"no."</p><p>"maybe?"</p><p>"no."</p><p>"please.", he pouted.</p><p>"fine but we're inviting mine too."</p><p>"deal. cinderella party?"</p><p>"wilbur doesn't like princesses. at all."</p><p>"so?"</p><p>"so...he wouldn't want a princess party. what about a neverland party?"</p><p>"techno doesn't like peter pan."</p><p>"there has to be some middle ground.", puffy sighed, putting down her notepad.</p><p>"like one of those half-and-half ones? aren't they always tacky?"</p><p>"i guess but like how...how about like a fairy tale one? that's both princesses and peter pan."</p><p>"oooo. and we can like have a fairy garden party."</p><p>"i like the way, you think magic man."</p><p>
  <strong>DECEMBER</strong>
</p><p>it was a half-assed party. both twins fell asleep one hour in, relatives got drunk, friends got stoned, and both parents did both. so, yeah, shitty party for wilbur and techno but the adults definitely had the time of their lives.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Year 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>tommy is coming but the age gap had to be made</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>JANUARY</strong>
</p><p>their first time at the mall was a game-changer for them. wilbur and techno had never seen so many stores at once. merely coincidence that they haven't been, it's not like their parents were avoiding it. at some point, caroline wandered off, leaving wilbur, techno, and phil awkwardly chilling in the food court.</p><p>"daddy, store.", techno said pointing some fashion store. the wave of shock that covered his father was probably felt through the entire mall.</p><p>"bud, you can speak?! since--since when?"</p><p>the toddler seemed to debate himself in his head before saying, "yeah, so store?"</p><p>"yeah, yup, of course! will, coming?"</p><p>wilbur skipped behind phil and techno but when they got inside, techno asked his father to put him down. his father was in such unbelievable shock that if the child asked him to jump off a roof, he probably would.</p><p>at the very front, techno grabbed a light pink dress and shoved it towards his father.</p><p>"you want this?", philza asked. he considered himself a pretty progressive parent but all his previously mute son wanted after years of not talking was a dress. odd. "alright."</p><p>"daddy, want one too!", wilbur stomped. </p><p>"um...alrighty?"</p><p>phil checked out the two light pink dresses for his sons, ignoring the dirty looks he got from other customers and the cashier. he was just happy techno found something to talk about. wilbur didn't wear the dress. ever. not even when playing. he was just mad techno got something he didn't but nonetheless, the light pink dress is still sitting in the back of their closet.</p><p>
  <strong>FEBURARY</strong>
</p><p>this year on valentine's day, phil was kicked out for their surprise. not really having a life outside of his family and gaming, he just went to hang out with bbh, antfrost, velvet (antfrost's boyfriend) and skeppy (bbh's date).</p><p>"so you basically had to leave your own house on the love day?", antfrost groaned.</p><p>"that's so sad. and now you're here.", bbh added.</p><p>"with your taken--"</p><p>"and gay--"</p><p>"friends."</p><p>"so he's like the token cishet? pretty poggers.", velvet laughed.</p><p>"i'm sure i didn't <em>have</em> to leave. a party for me, i'm sure.", philza reassured both his friends and himself.</p><p>"a party. without your friends?", skeppy questioned.</p><p>"without you? it's more reasonable she's leaving. most married couples divorce on valentine's day.", velvet smirked.</p><p>"babe", antfrost started, "shut the fuck up."</p><p>after a good freak out session, he got a text from caroline, allowing him back into the house. a slight sense of comfort waved over him to still see her car in the driveway. he opened the door to see rose petals on the floor, caroline holding roses, and wilbur and techno holding paper hearts.</p><p>
  <strong>SEPTEMBER</strong>
</p><p>the same month that techno began being sensitive to loud sounds was the same month wilbur began his loud sounds career. phil wasn't home and wilbur began banging pots against each other. techno turned to his mother in support only to see her not looking up from her phone. since his mother didn't react, he assumed he shouldn't. techno left the living room and went into his bedroom only for his younger- by 4 minutes -brother to follow him.</p><p>"lemme lone, wilbur.", techno pouted.</p><p>wilbur, not liking how techno ignored him, began shouting in his ear. over. and. over. techno looked around to make sure no parents were in the room before slapping the shit out of wilbur. figuring out that wilbur's cries were louder than his shouting, techno just stuffed socks in his mouth. to put it simply, neither parents were too happy with the older boy. but the younger one didn't escape their scolding.</p><p>
  <strong>OCTOBER</strong>
</p><p>it was the first year the twins dressed up for halloween but even then: bare minimum. caroline and phil watched a scary movie the day before which could totally explain his wife's "sudden sickness". nonetheless, wilbur and techno woke up the next day and dressed like the <em>cutest</em> black cats. they got tons of candy and even persuaded phil's friends to make some pretty big decisions.</p><p>"baby fever always hits different at halloween.", badboyhalo sighed watching cute kids run from door to door.</p><p>"we should get one of those.", skeppy joked.</p><p>"a baby? you're gonna need to trade your current thing for a different thing.", bbh said, doing his best to explain it without swearing.</p><p>"surrogacy? adoption? get woke, halo."</p><p>"mmm. i'm team surrogacy.", phil added.</p><p>"thank you for your hetero input. what do you say?"</p><p>"muffin it. let's do this.", bbh laughed before kissing his boyfriend.</p><p>true to their word, that same night, they went to the clinic and gave both of their sperms to a donor. they weren't getting any younger, anyways.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Year Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>full disclaimer: vincent/a6d makes me uncomfortable. and i know you might call me a pussy for thinking so but he just won't be included in this story.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>JANUARY</strong>
</p><p>around the 12th of january, it was time for wilbur and techno to start nursery. it wasn't until the couple started taking the twins out that they realized that they had no experience with other children. at all. but by the time they realized it, it was far too late and just had to trust that wilbur and techno would figure it out. after all, they were smart boys.</p><p>standing in the doorway of the large building full of children both younger and older than them, the twins looked at philza for some sort of support. any kind of support.</p><p>"first day. give it a shot, alright?"</p><p>neither replied and just watched longingly as their father left but they were on their father's mind all day, thoughts like 'are they ok?', 'are they crying?', 'have they made friends?', 'is wilbur talking to his brother?', 'is wilbur hurting his brother?', 'would they tell him if he was?', 'was techno hurting his brother?', 'was techno being nice?', 'was techno getting along with other kids?' plagued him while finishing up his latest novel. after a while, he called bbh and basically told him every thought that came to his brain. bbh dismissed it as silly and told him to go out, maybe get ice cream or starbucks.</p><p>bbh was right.</p><p>bbh was never wrong.</p><p>coincidentally, philza ended up at a starbucks near the nursery in question. well...not really coincidentally. he looked at his watch, seeing that they wouldn't get out 'till 3 and it was only 1. with a deep sigh, he ordered iced coffee for himself and a caramel latte for caroline. she was in the middle of a lunch time rush when he came but she still thanked him profusely for the sweet drink. the bakery being pretty far, put him back at home by 2. 1 more hour until he could embrace wilbur and techno with everything in him. maybe it was that hard for all parents. first days are scary...for both parties. he distracted himself with some grey's anatomy and almost lost track of time.</p><p>when he got there, luckily, there were still a ton more children that needed to be picked up. he hated when his parents forgot to get him or if he was the last one there. wilbur ran towards him with a big hug and jumped into his harms with the widest grin he's ever seen.</p><p>"good day?", philza chuckled.</p><p>"best day!"</p><p>"you can tell me all about it in the car, sound good?"</p><p>the cutest father-son moment was brutally interrupted by one of the workers asking for him.</p><p>"you're technoblade's father, correct?", she asked as if she didn't already know, "come with me."</p><p>she led phil and wilbur into a room without any children that appeared to be strictly for naps. not a hard guess with all the sleeping cots on the floor and the sleep posters on the wall.</p><p>"apparently, he didn't want to leave after naptime. maybe you could talk to him?"</p><p>the blonde man nodded and put wilbur down. he proceeded to walk towards techno with caution, not to startle or anger him since he seems like he already had a pretty rough day.</p><p>"hey, tech. we can go home now.", philza whispered.</p><p>the pinkette boy turned to him and buried himself in his father's chest. while attempting to leave with both of his sons the woman from before stopped him.</p><p>"your son, technoblade, he's autistic?"</p><p>"why does it matter?"</p><p>"sir, please answer the question."</p><p>"asperger's syndrome. not that it's any of your business anyhow."</p><p>"we do have a class specifically for specially abled children, you know?"</p><p>"yeah...but um...i'm sure me and my wife would feel better with techno staying with will."</p><p>"of course but um...maybe reconsider? it be a waste for him to just sit in here all day until he's- i don't know -5."</p><p>"we'll definitely think about it."</p><p>he didn't and he wasn't. techno was a normal kid and yeah, he was in school too. the spec-ed kids were bullied and antisocial. he'd rather die than do that to tech.</p><p>
  <strong>MARCH</strong>
</p><p>he was forced to think about it again. since he was a "stay-at-home dad", he had been picking up the boys from nursery, but in march, to surprise philza, caroline picked them up. and let's just say she wasn't thrilled about what the nursery worker from before had to say. she had even dropped techno and wilbur off at her parents before coming back home, something that was usually done when the grown-ups needed to have a intense conversation.</p><p>"philza."</p><p>"cara?"</p><p>"i went to the nursery today."</p><p>"that's nice. why are you telling me, though?"</p><p>"phil, why is technoblade in the same class as william?"</p><p>"i don't know, they are the same age though."</p><p>"you know, that's not what i'm getting on you about."</p><p>"why isn't he in a class for SEN support?"</p><p>"maybe because he doesn't need SEN support, cara."</p><p>"then, what do you suggest? i mean, you must have some plan if my baby has been learning nothing since january!"</p><p>"i don't know but he's fine! perfectly fine! that worker is fucked in the head."</p><p>"don't you swear at me. you know that's a lie.", she began quietly, "if you're uncomfortable with him being in a special education class, we can consider letting him meet with a counselor. just after school."</p><p>"puffy, are you sure?"</p><p>"of course, i'm sure. and i know what you mean. if you think this is best, i trust your judgement."</p><p>"thank you."</p><p>she left phil's office for a moment before she seemed to remember something a turned around and knocked on the open door.</p><p>"hey, phil?"</p><p>"yeah, babe?"</p><p>"i'm pregnant."</p><p>"oh yeah, cool."</p><p>she left the room quickly before he had time to process it, "caroline!"</p><p>she yelled from the room, "yeah?"</p><p>"how far along are you?"</p><p>"4 months."</p><p>"um...well, thank you for telling me."</p><p>"very welcome.", still shouting.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>APRIL</strong>
</p><p>philza's comfortable sleep was interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing lightly. after realizing it didn't wake up caroline, he picked with his sleepy voice.</p><p>"hello?", he groaned.</p><p>"he's here! philz, he's here!"</p><p>"bad? bad, it's 4 in the morning. who's here?"</p><p>"the baby, phil!"</p><p>"he's not due for another 2 months."</p><p>"oh my god, we know! just get here!"</p><p>"fine, fine, meet you at the hospital?"</p><p>"yeah, okay."</p><p>when philza began getting dressed with badboyhalo still on the phone, caroline eventually rolled over to his side, "what are you doing up?"</p><p>"skeppy and bbh's son is here."</p><p>"real? quite the preemie."</p><p>"yeah, you coming?"</p><p>"nah, the boys' sleep schedule. i'll be there around 6 or 7. sound cool?"</p><p>"yeah, okay."</p><hr/><p>when he got there, velvet and antfrost were already waiting.</p><p>"you know, heteros always coming late.", velvet snickered. it took everyone a good second to understand the dirty joke.</p><p>"ha. ha. where's the lucky dads?", phil groaned.</p><p>"skeppy comes out every five seconds. not a fan of blood. badboyhalo's just in there. and- oh well, here he comes again."</p><p>skeppy was in blue scrubs covered in the implied red liquid as he took a couple of almost hyperventilating breaths.</p><p>"skeppy, you okay, man?"</p><p>"yeah, i'm fine. ranboo's here."</p><p>"ranboo?", his friends asked in unison.</p><p>"coming from the dude who named a baby technoblade, you're in no place to talk.", skeppy countered to philza.</p><hr/><p>CHILD'S FIRST NAME</p><p>Ranboo</p><p>CHILD'S MIDDLE NAME</p><p>Live</p><p>CHILD'S LAST NAME</p><p>Halo</p><p>SEX:</p><p>Male</p><p>DATE OF BIRTH:</p><p>April 3rd</p><p>BIOLOGICAL MOTHER:</p><p>Surrogacy Ward</p><p>PARENT 1:</p><p>Badboy Halo, Adult, Illustrator</p><p>(OPTIONAL) PARENT 2:</p><p>Skeppy Ahmed, Adult, Genetic Counselor</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>AUGUST</strong>
</p><p>the birth of their third child. now, unlike ranboo who was born months before, it was a very calm process. it was the day of his due date too, right on time. and caroline "had a feeling" that he was gonna come today. but when she said this both technoblade and wilbur looked up to their parents with confusion.</p><p>"who's coming today?", wilbur asked.</p><p>"yeah, is it grandma?"</p><p>"it can't be grandma! grandma's a she."</p><p>"nuh-uh."</p><p>"uh-huh."</p><p>phil stopped their bickering by moving techno's chairs left slightly, "it's your brother."</p><p>"we have a brother?", techno asked.</p><p>"since when?", wilbur added.</p><p>"no, no, he hasn't come yet. he's in mommy's tummy."</p><p>both boys looked at phil then at caroline with complete and total shock, "<strong>mommy ate a baby?</strong>"</p><hr/><p>being the paranoid woman she became after having two rambunctious boys, she went to the hospital around one, just because she knew he was coming. and she was right: just an hour or so early. which meant not only would wilbur and techno be still for an hour but they also had to wait for her to actually give birth. easy to say that everyone in the maternal waiting room was tired of the brothers in the first 5 minutes.</p><p>"can i hold him?", wilbur asked when he first saw his baby brother. he had to sit down first but his parents graciously allowed him to.</p><p>"what's his name?", techno asked his dad, still looking at the baby.</p><p>"thomas. what do you think?"</p><p>"that's a boring name, daddy."</p><p>"yeah!", wilbur laughed.</p><p>"then what would you say we name him?"</p><p>"tommy's cool."</p><p>"yeah."</p><p>"name him thomas and you can call him tommy?"</p><p>"sounds fair to me.", techno nodded shaking his hand.</p><p>
  <strong>DECEMBER</strong>
</p><p>even by the time the baby was 5 months old, techno and wilbur wanted tommy to do everything with them. whether that meant painting on the walls, escaping bath time, or even hiding their parent's keys, tommy was involved. it seemed very unsafe to people looking in also. one of the boys barely holding on to tommy while running as fast as they could. they'd get punished but at the end of the day, no time outs or even spankings could convince them to exclude their baby brother in anything. and if they did exclude him, the longest time they would would only be a day. sometimes wilbur got frustrated with all the attention he was getting, sometimes techno got angry with how he always cried, but both could definitely agree that the worst part of a baby brother was how early he woke up. </p><p>"he wakes up at like 5!", techno complained to his dad.</p><p>"uh-huh! and then, you're tired all day and we can't do anything fun!", wilbur added.</p><p>to put it simply, the older brothers were mostly angry about stuff out of both their parents and the baby's control. but at the end of the day, the pros of a baby brother- at least to them -outweighed the cons. tommy even got to go to nursery with them. different classes and rooms but still the same building. way earlier than both wilbur and techno. although he was still a baby and no one in the household was a mind reader, you could tell how much more tommy loved affection from his brothers than anyone else. the big smiles, the following with the eyes, and even trying to shimmy off the couch were all revolved around his first heroes: wilbur and techno.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Year 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>FEBURARY</strong>
</p><p>since ranboo had been getting sick recently- being a premmie - and all, bbh and skeppy hadn't been getting out or really talking to their friends for quite a while. so when the baby's immune system had built up, the couple's friends had planned to have a small gathering at phil's house.</p><p>the three brothers, including baby tommy, seemed to be nothing but bummed about the visit.</p><p>"my sweater is getting itchy and it hurts!", the brunette whined.</p><p>"wilbur, it's wool. i told you to handwash with fabric conditioner. but you never listen.", techno scoffed, secretly happy to be talking about anything clothes.</p><p>"can you do it?"</p><p>"no."</p><p>"meanie. i'm gonna tell daddy."</p><p>techno didn't seem very affected because he merely picked up tommy out of his crib and put him down on their rainbow rug. techno was wearing a pink hoodie identical to wilbur's aside from color with tons of gold jewelry and chains he had acquired over the years. </p><p>"tommy should wear his red sweater, as well. it goes with our color scheme."</p><p>"i'm not pulling any schemes.", wilbur said, thinking his brother could read his brain.</p><p>"not that kind of scheme. red, yellow, and blue look nice together. they're all primary colors."</p><p>"you sure know a lot about colors."</p><p>not knowing how to respond to that, he quietly went to the closet to get tommy's red wool sweater. tommy clapped at the sight of it. probably not because he liked it or anything but because he loved loud sounds, despite being a bit too young for an interest like that.</p><p>phil came in with his natural loving smile, especially after seeing his boys bond, "thank you for dressing the baby. are your teeth brushed?"</p><p>"nope!", wilbur shouted, abnormally loud, earning a clap and smile from his baby brother.</p><p>"toothbrush, toothpaste, now. that means you too, technoblade."</p><p>while trudging to the hallway bathroom, techno stuck a tongue out at his dad. obviously not very thrilled about the whole tooth brush situation.</p><hr/><p>since ranboo was the only other child aside from the brothers at the gathering, most attention was on him. both wilbur and techno liked him more than tommy. he could walk- not very fast but still walking -and the boys were allowed to be more rough with ranboo than they were with tommy. despite him crying easily.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>SEPTEMBER</strong>
</p><p>in an almost feral way, tommy became the alpha of the house. sure, he had terrible balance and couldn't form a single word but his presence incited fear in his brothers. tommy began his hitting and screaming phase. having a generally calm family, it didn't fit the vibes. whenever tommy got back from anywhere, you could see his older brothers scramble and hide. it's not like they could hit him back without them getting in trouble either. it was always the same thing. "you're older" or "his hits don't hurt". and when it came to tommy's wrath it was every brother for himself. which allowed techno's next hyperfixation to assist him fighting. everything fighting. not yet weapons since phil and caroline were pretty strict but it definitely ended the little brother's wrath. unprompted, when they parents tucked them in and said good night, techno straddled tommy and sucker punched him in the stomach. techno pondered about hitting his face but it'd definitely leave a bruise that someone would have to explain.</p><p>"night, tom."</p><p>
  <strong>DECEMBER</strong>
</p><p>in december, everything changed. absolutely everything. phil and caroline sat on the edge of the bed, just like they did when they considered abortion.</p><p>"what are you trying to say, puffy?"</p><p>"i don't know how to put it any differently. i don't like men and i've been cheating on you. okay? i'm sorry but that's the truth."</p><p>"but like...i don't know...we could try? for the kids--"</p><p>"we both know that never works. and i can't <em>try</em> to like men! phil, you are the sweetest man to walk this earth. and i'm sure there's an amazing...straight woman out there for you."</p><p>"are...are you gonna leave us?"</p><p>"i'm gonna move out, yes. but i'd like the boys to visit in the summer."</p><p>"are you...you gonna tell them?"</p><p>"no. when they're older, i'm sure they'll understand. i'm...i'm gonna leave. talk later?"</p><p>"um...yeah. goodbye, puffy."</p><p>"goodbye, philza."</p><p>if that change wasn't enough, around christmas, phil got an email from a world-renowned publisher than he had only be in contact with for a few months.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>dear philza innit,</strong> </span>
</p><p><span class="u"> <strong>we</strong> </span> <span class="u"> <strong> are to understand you would like schlatt publishers to publish your novels. after careful consideration, we've decided to make you a proposition. in the back of your novels, you like to mention your children and how they inspire every character. that is noble trait here at schlatt publishers. the ceo and owner of schlatt publishers has a son, toby schlatt. if you agree to take him in until he is 6 years of age, we'll publish every book you write for the next 10 years. toby schlatt is currently 1 years old and his father is not in a place to take care of him. you will also receive a $10,000 (or uk equivanlent) compensation montly. if you agree to this proposition, please call the number below. toby schlatt will be delivered to your house on january 1st. thank you.</strong> </span></p><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>from, the assistant of owner/ceo </strong> </span>
</p><p> </p><p><span class="u"></span>with the cash promised, that was more than enough for him to take on another child. and after the loss of his wife, he was desperate to find love in a different place. although, he did expect to find it at an animal shelter, not a multimillion dollar company. first, he needed to decide whether he actually wanted to do this. since his friends already knew about the whole "caroline situation", he assumed they'd be able to think reasonably. not to mention, him saying yes affected them too.</p><p>"of course you should do it!", antfrost shouted, almost taking his ear off, "this could totally change all of our careers!"</p><p>"ant, think more like a friend. less like a coworker. you already have 3 boys. one's a toddler and none have started school yet.", badboyhalo countered.</p><p>"yeah, i guess. but it's not forever. it's just 5 years.", phil added.</p><p>"just five years.", badboyhalo mocked.</p><p>"i know the dude who went through medical school for no fucking reason isn't talking. do it. mad cash and books published.", antfrost suggested.</p><p>"he does have a point, philza. but it's really up to you."</p><p>"okay...i will do it. thank you, guys.", he said, hanging up.</p><p>he was about to go to his room to call the number below before he took a quick glance at his sons' bedroom. they all shared a generally small room, he couldn't possibly have four to a room. he could add bunk beds...those could work. but not for long, at some point, someone's gonna want their own room. probably techno first, then wilbur, then tommy, and maybe this toby kid. but that time hadn't come yet. but he was gonna move wilbur and techno into a separate room. </p><p>but...it was gonna work. everything was gonna work out. for the best!</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Year Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>JANUARY</strong>
</p><p>wilbur and techno were very happy with their own room but tommy was suspicious. asked a lot of questions that phil decided to answer the day toby came.</p><p>"you know how i moved your beds into a different room? well, that's because a friend is gonna be living with us.", he said at the breakfast table.</p><p>"what do you mean...friend?"</p><p>"basically that. he's gonna stay in tommy's room."</p><p>"woah!", tommy said, probably just wanting to use his new favorite word, "<em>my</em> room!"</p><p>"tommy, you have to share.", wilbur said.</p><p>"nuh-uh.", he seemed to forget why he was angry by his next question, "friend play with dinos?"</p><p>"i'm sure he'll play if you ask him to."</p><p>"what's friend's name?", wilbur asked, putting up his cup.</p><p>"toby. toby schlatt."</p><p>"weird name.", wilbur chuckled.</p><p>the sound of a knock on the door made all the boys jump (with the addition of tommy screaming for no reason).</p><p>"shh. now i want you guys to be nice."</p><p>all the boys were weirded out that instead of an adult there was a small child in a large box. definitely wasn't one of their daddy's normal friends.</p><p>"are you toby?", wilbur said, peeking into the box. </p><p>not looking up, the small brunette merely scrunched more closely into one of the corners. he obviously didn't seem too hot about the idea of them talking to him. nor getting out of the box. when philza tried to pick him up, he began sobbing and shaking, making the man immediately put him back down. assuming that he just needed time, he picked up the box and put it in his new bedroom. he shut the door and made tommy stay into the living room. the hyper toddler wouldn't be so compatible with such a frail human. after dinner, toby still didn't come out of his box and phil got a little worried. he decided: if toby was still in the box tomorrow, he'd do something. he even let tommy sleep with him, a true act of bravery to sleep with constantly moving bedwetter. </p><p>but techno did something that night. he opened the freezer and made two bowls of vanilla ice cream. he also used both of his favorite spoons. the favorite spoons didn't have metal ends, it had a bit of rubber on the end which made it much cooler to hold. not a big deal to anyone but himself. he opened the door of his former bedroom to hear the boy lightly crying. he thought he didn't like the sound of crying but maybe it was because he hadn't heard toby's. it wasn't comparable to the shrieks his brothers made when they cried, toby's were more of like the old people in the back of the movie theatre type. he grabbed tommy's blanket and tablet off the bed before flipping toby's box over slightly, enough for him to come out.</p><p>"come here. vanilla's my favorite.", techno said, handing him a bowl.</p><p>the boy grabbed the bowl and looked at it strangely without answering.</p><p>"don't worry, i like the quiet. makes me sound more talkative."</p><p>toby came out of the box and began eating the ice cream. he was hungry but tried to eat slowly, not to seem weird. nonetheless, techno wouldn't have cared either way.</p><p>"sword art online. but in complete silence. their voices make me", he didn't use words to describe his feeling but he merely shook his head and grunted, " sometimes. but captions, of course. can you read?"</p><p>after the first episode, toby got closer to the older boy without realizing it. </p><p>"well i'm tired. i know you aren't a fan of my family. i'm not either. wanna take a bath tonight or in the morning? you kinda stink."</p><p>"tonight...", toby whispered, barely hitting techno's ears.</p><p>"good. they're all heavy sleepers."</p><p>techno wasn't good with emotions but he liked toby's. his emotions matched the ones on his counselor's pictures. he didn't have to guess. if toby was sad, he cried; if he was uncomfortable, he said stop; and if he was happy, he smiled. toby was a very nice book. techno's favorite book.</p><p>
  <strong>FEBURARY</strong>
</p><p>there was still not much luck in getting toby to talk to anyone but techno. but he came out from time to time. well...only bath time. when phil was made aware that toby was okay with talking to techno, he put a stop in the late night ice cream and started making techno bring toby his dinner. he might not be able to force toby out of the box but he might as well make him comfy.</p><p>on a strangely hot feburary day, phil brought out the "big guns" and decided to make food on the grill. techno was forced outside along with his brothers but toby stayed inside. the older boy was a bit angry and jealous but he kept it to himself as he tackled tommy into the muddy grass. after his very nice take-down that was accompanied by his impeccable fashion sense, he leaned off his brother and yielded. tommy was about to tackle him back when his brother wasn't looking but was stopped by his father.</p><p>"pause, little man. your clothes are all muddy. go run yourself a bath."</p><p>the angry 3 year old pouted and growled at him before trudging himself into the house as slow as humanely possible. forgetting that someone had been living alone in his room for the past month, he jumped when he saw the young boy from the box, sitting on the floor.</p><p>"gah! you scared me!"</p><p>when the boy did nothing but clutch his cardboard box, tommy got annoyed. why was he ignoring him? this kid was living out of <em>his</em> room! the least he could do is speak!</p><p>"hello? can't you hear me?", tommy said, clapping in his face. he quickly stopped when the boy he was clapping at started hyperventilating. wilbur did it sometimes but never when he was clapping. wilbur did 'the weird breathing thing' when he had been running for a long time.</p><p>"sorry! sorry! stop that!", trying to get him to stop before someone came in, "i'm tommy. you?"</p><p>"toby.", the brunette squeaked out.</p><p>"that's a boring name. you should get a different one."</p><p>"i don't have a different one."</p><p>"here", tommy said, reaching out his hand with an imaginary name, "your new name is tubbo."</p><p>"thank you.", the smaller boy sniffed.</p><p>"woah, woah, woah! tubbo's don't cry! toby's might but not tubbo!"</p><p>
  <strong>MAY</strong>
</p><p>everyone was friends in hightime may. wilbur and "tubbo" began bonding over including him in wilbur's wild adventures. most of these adventures involved throwing rocks and picking up grass but tubbo was glad to be included anyway. and wilbur definitely enjoyed an extra set of hands after firing tommy. his little brother had a tendency to snitch, not to mention, he didn't even listen to wilbur. and phil and tubbo merely bonded circumstantially.</p><p>tubbo and phil's sleeping problems added to this circumstantial bonding. mostly just finding each other in the kitchen at 11 at night,  2 in the morning, sometimes 4 in the morning, and 7 in the morning.</p><p>"hi, phil."</p><p>"hi, tubbo.", phil chuckled, "hot chocolate again?"</p><p>"yup. two 'mellows please."</p><p>he had been waiting for the young boy to wake up before he started working on his own coffee and tubbo's hot cocoa but mornings like this really hit different. caroline used to wake up sometimes too but he would much rather have tubbo in the kitchen with him.</p><p>"bad dream?"</p><p>"nope. wet bed and tommy snoring like dino."</p><p>"what does a dinosaur snore like, tubs?", philza asked, passing him the chocolatey beverage.</p><p>"like,", tubbo went on to do a very impressive dinosaur rawr but still quiet enough not to wake up his somewhat brothers. he didn't really consider them siblings, more like friends you live with. but he liked considering phil a dad. he was much nicer than the one he got saddled with and phil never came home late, never hit him, and as far as he knew, never drank or smoked. low standards to most but to tubbo, he couldn't even imagine a man like that being real. much less getting to live with him.</p><p>"definitely a dino snore. only 4, going back to bed?"</p><p>"are you?"</p><p>"probably not."</p><p>"then no. i wanna stay up with you."</p><p>"suppose i can't ask you to sleep with me still up. but first, we've gotta change those sheets. lead the way?"</p><p>
  <strong>JUNE</strong>
</p><p>the rough truth about having brothers...or kinda friends with separated parents hit tubbo like a rock. june, july, and half of august with the entire house to himself. well, philza who mostly spent time in his bedroom or office but he couldn't go in those places anyways.</p><p>"where are you going?", tubbo said, sitting on wilbur's bed as both of his older brothers packed suitcases.</p><p>"nowhere, lovebug.", wilbur assured.</p><p>"so you'll be home for dinner? i wanna make brownies again."</p><p>"tubbo, we have to go with our mother.", techno said, not a fan of lying.</p><p>"mother?"</p><p>"yeah, basically the woman who brought you into the world."</p><p>"hmmm...i don't have a mother. can i have yours?"</p><p>"you don't want her, tubs."</p><p>wilbur and techno closed their suitcases in unison right before a knock on the front door was heard. tubbo and tommy's races to get the door were always intense and the younger usually won but on this rare occasion, tubbo won...because tommy wasn't running.</p><p>phil opened the door to a woman with big curly hair and another one with straight blonde hair.</p><p>"niki. puffy."</p><p>"philza."</p><p>"boys, your mother is here!", phil called.</p><p>which one was their mother? he couldn't tell. best guess though was this niki person. she had pale skin like tommy and wilbur and straight hair like techno and tommy. apparently, he was wrong. maybe philza just had some very strong genes.</p><p>none of the boys had run downstairs like they normally did. they walked. it seemed so awkward and tense.</p><hr/><p>after a while of not having the other boys here, tubbo had officially gotten bored. there wasn't wilbur to go on adventures with and there wasn't wilbur to play him songs. there wasn't tommy to play with and there wasn't tommy to chase. there wasn't techno to talk with and there wasn't techno to eat with. </p><p>he had started sleeping in wilbur and techno's bedroom when they left. he wasn't allowed to normally which made it more daring but it didn't hit the same if they weren't yelling at him to get out. </p><p>
  <strong>JULY</strong>
</p><p>nobody had their own room at their mothers' house. not even their own bed. it was a queen so the boys managed but they were very pouty about it. there was another bedroom left but it was really empty and techno had scared his brother's out of it with a spooky story. </p><p>their new moms' house sucked. and it's not like they even knew her. after a year, you just expect her to never come back. but these were sleepy bois inc. they expressed their lack of liking to the house on day 1, letting them come back at the start of august. after parental talking, the brothers would only come a month a year. at least until they got older and stopped hating her as much.</p><p>
  <strong>SEPTEMBER</strong>
</p><p>tubbo had already been going to nursery for a while- and adjusted perfectly. he was never alone there. however, it was time for wilbur and techno to start school. being the pro "mother figure" he is, philza wanted to meet their teacher and tour the school an hour before. </p><p>"nice to meet you. welcome to our humble academy. we're a very small school but we make it work. here's our library. year 1 hallway, year 2 hallway, and year 3 hallway. should you get lost, i'm sure you'll find someone."</p><p>the fact that she could point to all 3 hallways without moving was concerning. neither boys seemed interested at all and if phil was being honest, it kinda looked like a prison. nonetheless, he couldn't tell the twins that. they'd totally blow it out of proportion. </p><p>3 o' clock rolled around and both boys seemed to enjoy their first day. wilbur couldn't stop blabbing about all the people he met and techno said that he "wouldn't totally completely die" if philza took him back which was definitely a step up.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Year 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>FEBURARY</strong>
</p><p>young philza never- not in a million years -saw this future for him. a single dad of two two year olds and two six year olds. with all the heart problems he had back then though, he probably couldn't see a future past 15.</p><p>in his current novel, the five warriors had just begun their journey. the oldest warrior had just lost his wife and couldn't afford to live in their cottage anymore. first, in a pub, he meets a trained warrior who asks him to join his quest. then, they meet the happy-go-lucky hippie who has questionable morals from time to time. and lastly, the polar opposite warriors-in-training. one with heart of gold and the other with a heart of hate---</p><p>his brain dump was rudely interrupted by a phone call from wilbur and techno's school. they were very vague over the phone, urging him to come in. after realizing he didn't have a choice, he put on his coat and drove across town to pick them up. in the office, wilbur and techno were sitting in chairs across the room from each other, both looking extremely distraught.</p><p>"hello, i'm here for william and technoblade.", he said to the woman at the front desk.</p><p>"yes, the principal is waiting for you. william, technoblade, into her office."</p><p>the boys trudged into the woman's office, shoving each other on the way there.</p><p>"ah, mr. smp (dunno i think it's just the coolest last name). we had a bit of trouble with your boys here today."</p><p>"yeah, yeah, i noticed. what happened?"</p><p>"well, i don't know the <em>full</em> story because they refuse to talk but i do know what their teacher said. apparently, at recess, william began fighting one of the girls in his class. really rough. we took photos for insurance reasons, ", she said sliding him face down photos of a young girl with bruises and scratches all over her body, "and then, technoblade began fighting william. way rough than william, that's for sure. and we just have a 0 tolerance policy when it comes to bullying. especially when it become physical. now, the girl's mothers aren't pressing charges if they can receive an apology from both william and technoblade. even invited you guys to dinner tonight- isn't that nice? if she doesn't receive an apology at dinner tonight from both of your sons, we're going to suspend technoblade for two months and expel william."</p><p>"multiple questions. one, how do we know that will actually hit her?"</p><p>"sir, bruises don't just appear. not ones like her's. not to mention, we have multiple eye-witnesses."</p><p>"okay, fine. fine. why are you expelling wilbur? why not the suspension like techno?"</p><p>"i'm assuming those are nicknames? first off, technoblade only hit william, his brother. we're a bit more lenient on family disputes. also...well...," she leaned in to whisper, "we know about techno's <em>condition</em>."</p><p>while he didn't want techno to be expelled, phil didn't appreciate her taking lenience on him just because of his autism. nonetheless, that's something to bring up with techno, not the principal.</p><p>"fine. fine."</p><p>"please don't be angry, sir. we love having your sons here. william is delight to have in every class and technoblade raises the class average by over 50%. we're open to hearing their side of the story if they decide to speak."</p><p>"will. tech. words."</p><p>wilbur wouldn't meet his eyes and kept staring at his lap while techno frowned and looked off into the distance.</p>
<hr/><p>yeah. he yelled. wasn't too hot on the idea of physical punishment but they definitely got the idea.</p><p>"i just cannot believe you two would do something like this. like, actually? no tablet, no tv, no outdoors for a month. that was really messed up of you guys. can you imagine what type of example you're setting for tommy and tubbo? do you want them to think this is okay? god! okay, just get dressed, alright? we have to go apologize to them. the outfits that are on your bed. no 'fixing it', no 'coloring it', no masks and no beanies. capicse? now, i have to go explain to your brothers that instead of watching the new horror movie that came out, they have to go out to dinner with one of your classmates."</p><p>philza was proud of himself. he didn't say anything he didn't mean and kept his temper to a minimum. of course if this became a more common event, he doubt he'd be able to keep the same cool he had today.</p>
<hr/><p>the dinner with little paula's mothers were as awkward as you can imagine and techno and will have yet to apologize.</p><p>"so, you've got 4 running around? that's a lot. where's your wife?"</p><p>"yeah, she's traveling the world um... with her girlfriend."</p><p>"oh."</p><p>"yeah."</p><p>the other woman seemed more impatient, "look, let's just get it out the way. william, whatever your name is, apologize."</p><p>wilbur opened his mouth to speak before his brother kicked him under the table, "my name is technoblade, miss. i told my brother to hit her."</p><p>everyone at the table, excluding tommy and tubbo, looked at him with a shocked face or loud gasp.</p><p>"but it wasn't my fault. my brother said a year three was making fun of him for only having a dad in his family picture. the one we made on monday?", philza was really suprised how well technoblade was talking, not in general, just compared to how he was only six., "some dude named paul. i didn't know paul was short for paula! so i told him if this paul starting getting the beat on him, i'd assist. recess rolled around and i see will out here beating up a blonde girl with pigtails. i ran over there, trying to stop him, tried to pull him off. he shoved me into the grass and messed up the new khakis i got. and grass stains need to be handwashed too and ooh...i was so mad. so i tried to pull him off again and he shoved me again. obviously, i had to put him back in his place so i started pounding him. so by now, people surrounded us and this paula chick opened her mouth again. some stuff about my dad being a desperate gay or something. next thing i know, i'm being torn off wilbur by my math teacher."</p><p>did this fucking six year old just monologue?! nonetheless, paula squirmed in her seat with an angry cross of her arms.</p><p>"young lady, what do you have to say for yourself?", paula's other mother (the one who was so impatient before).</p><p>"i didn't lie, mommy. he only shows up to school with other men. different ones too! he's not even a loyal gay! and he's not allowed to only draw one! i get the shiny star sticker for drawing two! he shouldn't get a sticker for drawing one!"</p><p>both mothers left the table and went to the women's bathroom, holding paula's hand very angrily on the walk there. five minutes later, paula and her mothers come back, the young girl sporting tears and tear stained cheeks.</p><p>"i'm sorry, william. i'm sorry, techoblade. and i'm sorry, mr. smp.", she said (obviously forced). tommy and tubbo were mad about not getting an apology but they actually didn't know what just happened.</p><p>the nice mother from before took her daughter to the car while the other one stayed, "look, i'm sorry for how i acted before. from what i heard, it just seemed like two little boys overpowering my girl for no reason. i'm sure you can understand how i feel. we know the owner, your meal is on us. keep up the great work, blade."</p><p>when she had officially left, techno let out a squeal to his family, "she called me blade! you know how cool that sounds! it sounds like the name of a really epic princess who has amazing style."</p><p>"no it doesn't! it sounds like knight who fights dragons for fun.", wilbur countered, pausing his activity of blowing bubbles in his soda.</p><p>"nuh-uh. sound like dino who like go rawr!", tommy smirked, "tubbo?"</p><p>"a plant! smile plant."</p><p>phil chuckled, "well, i think blade sounds like a stylish princess knight who's half dinosaur and half plant who loves to smile, rawr, and fight dragons."</p><p>that was a title they all could agree with.</p><p>
  <strong>APRIL</strong>
</p><p>tommy and his very bad day. maybe he woke up on the wrong side of the bed but hands down: was the worst day possible. he woke up at his standard time and decided he wanted to go bother his older brothers. he opened the shut door, immediately getting groans as a response.</p><p>"tommy!"</p><p>"shut the door!"</p><p>"get out!"</p><p>"oh my god!"</p><p>the first reason why tommy might have snapped that day. he opened the door completely and began crying and screaming at the top of his lungs. phil and tubbo ran in from downstairs, completely shocked.</p><p>"what'd you do?", phil asked, trying to help tommy.</p><p>"nothing! he just started crying!", wilbur said, in a shout.</p><p>if not for tubbo's great observation skills, they would've had two meltdowns. technoblade began seeming overstimulated. probably from the sound of tommy's screams going on longer than a minute or so. the hand gripping. the tightly shut eyes. the shaking of his head. and the hitting of his head. technoblade was usually rather quiet before a meltdown but with the proper use of context clues, it doesn't take a genius. if the tv seemed a bit too loud, if the store had too many people, and if the lights were too bright. </p><p>"daddy, technoblade.", tubbo pointed.</p><p>"oh man. hey, will, do you think you could get techno's headphones from out the drawer?"</p><p>once the noise-canceling headphones hit his ears, his breathing normalized a bit, much better than before.</p><p>tommy stopped his blood-curdling crying at the drop of a pin, "why no crying anymore?"</p><p>"thomas smp! was this on purpose?"</p><p>without getting a response, he was sent to his bedroom for 'quiet time'. quiet time after dinner was normal and generally chill. quiet time in the middle of the day was basically time out. not to mention that seeing his family play outside really made him angry.</p><p>very angry. he grabbed their family pet, judas the hamster, and put him on his lap while he thought. he considered microwaving judas but he couldn't reach the microwave yet. he could put him in the oven but he couldn't reach the buttons to turn it on. he supposed fear factor was enough to make his point. tommy found a shoe box in the closet and stabbed a bunch of holes into it before putting judas inside it.</p><p>wilbur didn't even notice until right before dinner time. sitting at the dinner table, wilbur began to complain about how couldn't find the rodent anywhere.</p><p>"he's gone, daddy!"</p><p>tommy accidentally chuckled into the silence, making him the lead suspect.</p><p>"thomas, do you know what happened to your brother's hamster?"</p><p>he laughed again and began to "eat" the air and chew. making all of his brothers scream in fright. of course, phil didn't buy it for a second. the child wouldn't <em>touch</em> anything that wasn't covered in sugar. </p><p>"thomas, where did you put judas?"</p><p>he pouted, "shoe box. under bed."</p><p>"thank you."</p><p>
  <strong>DECEMBER</strong>
</p><p>it was no shocker that wilbur became such a good leader at such a young age (especially once he grew out of his people-pleasing phase). even though he wasn't the oldest, techno didn't question his brother's leadership. tommy did from time to time but, more or less, he just wanted to impress one of his older brothers. and yes, he still refused to believe tubbo was older than him.</p><p>"boys! get ready, we're going to the grocery store!", philza called from downstairs, "i expect to see four little boys downstairs in five minutes!"</p><p>they'd already been up but were having some unwilling quiet time. not completely quiet, however, since they were all sharing a bedroom, but as quiet as the boys could be. with loud laughs and giggles, tommy and tubbo ran into their big brothers' room, almost falling on their way.</p><p>"wilby, techno! let's go, let's go, let's go! hurry up!", they whined together, breaking the perfect silence in the rooms.</p><p>none objected as they ran downstairs, tripping, falling, and pushing each other. all the brothers, except one, put on their rainboots (even though it wasn't raining). tommy began audibly crying and sniffling as his brothers rushed to the door without him.</p><p>"tommy, come on!"</p><p>"no! my laces won't work!", he whined, "and then tubbo's gonna beat me to the car!"</p><p>"but tommy, you always beat tubbo."</p><p>the boy began crying again which made wilbur rush over to him with a hug. "i don't want hugs! i want shoes!" "oh, sorry, tommy!"</p><p>wilbur kneeled on both knees as he attempted to tie the shoes. important detail: wilbur didn't know how to. so, for about 3 minutes, wilbur proceeded to tie knots in tommy's shoes. by then, tubbo was already far into the car. but eventually, the knots held the laces in place and tommy got to be wilbur to the car.</p><p>"definitely went into overtime, guys. i was about to leave you.", phil said, jokingly, as they pulled off.</p>
<hr/><p>same day, his leadership skills came into play. the big battle of the sugary cereal. a bloody battle if i do say so myself.</p><p>"daddy, please!", tubbo begged. the coolest cereal alive who the coolest commercials. sugar bomb crunches. you weren't even qualified as a kid if you didn't like them. to be fair, no one in their family had actually tasted it but they were all sure they'd love it. that's why they sent in tubbo. if tubbo couldn't convince their dad, no one co--</p><p>"no, tubbo."</p><p>"regroup, regroup!", wilbur hung behind his father with techno and tommy by his side.</p><p>it's worth noting that techno didn't actually want the weird cereal. he thought it was lame. every time the commercial came on you'd have to turn the tv down like 12 notches just to understand them. great for getting any other than techno's attention. just made the small boy annoyed.</p><p>"okay, okay. i've got this really bright plan!", wilbur whisper-yelled when tubbo got back, "we ask him again. if he says no, we all throw a tantrum. same time! we've never done that before!"</p><p>"that's a really dumb idea, wilbur.", techno stated.</p><p>"noted. anyway, we're still gonna do it. on my cue, boys.", wilbur gave his team a thumbs up, "techno, if you could...brace yourself."</p><p>his older brother rolled his eyes but still put his hands over his ears. with a smile and a nod from his team, wilbur tapped on his dad's shoulder twice.</p><p>"wilbur.", he said, looking for something in the chip side of the isle.</p><p>"father, we want sugar bomb crunches. think before you answer."</p><p>"wilbur, just like i told all of your brothers, no.", phil scolded with a shake of his head.</p><p>will nodded his head and, on cue, the three youngest brothers fell to the ground kicking, screaming, and crying. eyes from every direction came to the isle, waiting for phil's response.</p><p>"stop it! stop, alright? how about ice cream, hmm?"</p><p>tubbo and tommy stopped temporarily to see if wilbur was gonna accept the bribe but in response, he gave them a "no" and they continued. </p><p>"where are these kids' parents" and "is that dude even their father" whispers flooded philza's ear, making his ears go red from embarrasment.</p><p>"wilbur, please."</p><p>"i want my mommy!", wilbur screamed. making the whispers only increase. tommy and tubbo were a bit confused but went with it anyway.</p><p>"daddy!"</p><p>even techno began crying, not yet a tantrum but still noticeably crying. their dad caved.</p><p>"fine, fine! you can have the cereal, please stop crying, will!"</p><p>very happy with his accomplishment, he wanted to see how far he could go, "and ice cream too!"</p><p>"wilbur!"</p><p>the boy only started crying louder, even beginning to hicuup.</p><p>"sure! okay, all the ice cream you want!"</p><p>the boy quickly got up and wiped his tears, "tommy, tubs. mission accomplished."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Year Eight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>FEBURARY</strong>
</p><p>the death of judas the hamster was the first grievance all of philza's sons really understood. sure, you could count the leaving of their mother but neither tommy or tubbo <em>really</em> understood. more or less, they knew that caroline just wasn't coming back and wanted to live with another lady instead of a house with boys. but judas? judas was gonna hurt.</p><p>philza was really getting into his story, like really getting in. we're talking 10 letters a second. the warriors of his story had made their way to an outdoor market but since they had no money, they were pocketing important items like food and small weapons. however, their main journey was to find the princess' necklace, which would give them many, many riches. just as the oldest warrior was pocketing an apple, a knight stopped them--</p><p>the faint squeaking of judas' wheel. wilbur must have forgot to feed him this morning. the eldest boy had been becoming more forgetful recently. phil sighed and got up. he picked up the (oddly) large bag of hamster feed and trudged himself over to the cage.</p><p>"sorry, little guy. let's change your bowl....aww, you're sleeping. come on, time to wake up.", phil said, poking the small animal. his heart started to race quite a bit, "ju...judas?"</p><p>judas was dead as a doornail. philza took a deep gasp as he rushed to his closet for an empty black shoe box. putting the hamster into the box, he put it on the kitchen counter, and grabbed his car keys. a dead pet was a pretty good excuse for them to get out of school early.</p><p>"phil, why are we going home early?", tubbo asked, while being buckled into his carseat.</p><p>"mmm...i'll tell you when we get there. but first who wants ice cream?"</p><p>judas being most wilbur's pet in the first place, the brunette boy took it really rough. the second philza told him, he fell to the ground in shock.</p><p>"he can't be dead! he was just here! i kissed him goodbye before school!"</p><p>"will, i'm very very sorry. okay?"</p><p>"no! don't be! 'cause he's not dead! he can't be dead!"</p><p>"will."</p><p>"dad...", wilbur whined as he fell into his father's chest. he was brought into a warm hug that made him feel much, much better.</p><p>"i'm so so sorry, love. i know you loved him very much and i'm sure he knew it too."</p><p>tommy and tubbo came in from their place around the corner and hugged their big brother just as tight, if not tighter. they made wilbur let out a small and short chuckle but made him cry even more. techno was sitting at the dinner table watching them but occasionally giving wilbur a sympathetic smile every now and then.</p><p>"where is he?", tubbo asked philza.</p><p>"he's in a better place, tubs.", his father replied.</p><p>"he can't be in a better place! judas was in the uk! let me guess. he's in america, isn't he?"</p><p>wilbur chuckled through his tears, "judas was definitely a canadian hamster."</p><p>"are you ready to bury him, wilbur?", philza asked.</p><p>"yes. but i want him to have a marked grave. and all black! that means socks and underwear, gentlemen!", wilbur yelled in a burst of anger as he stomped to his bedroom. tommy and tubbo quickly followed after. </p><p>the oldest man of the house turned to techno, "hey, at least, he isn't suicidal!", techno said with a laugh.</p>
<hr/><p>wilbur definitely dressed the part. he stole one of techno's black dresses along with one of techno's black floppy hats. don't ask where he got the heels because no one really knew. everyone else wore their sunday suits as they stood in the back yard. tommy dug a hole with his red and yellow shovel for the grave and tubbo and techno had created a sign that said 'here lies judas, he was a hamster'. but hamster was spelt like 'hammester'. lastly, philza put judas' box into the hole before tommy covered it back up with dirt.</p><p>"thank you, gentlemen. would anyone like to say a few words?", wilbur asked in between sniffles.</p><p>his brothers began laughing at his more southern british accent before their father gave them <em>the look</em>.</p><p>"i do, will. judas was a very good soul. may he be in a better place. tommy?", philza said, knowing that none of his sons would do it if they weren't forced.</p><p>"judas was an animal, i guess? sorry i tried to kill him a couple times." wilbur started crying harder so he took the pressure off of himself, "tubbo, any words?"</p><p>"he was a very good runner. i'm sad he didn't go to the hamster olympics.</p><p>"it was always a dream of his.", wilbur sobbed.</p><p>"i'm guessing it's my turn", techno looked at his watch for a few seconds in silence, "uh-huh. now he's dead. judas was hibernating. it's feburary. but now that he's been suffocated for about 2 minutes, he's finally dead. good riddance!"</p><p>wilbur looked around in shock and started trying to dig him up, ignoring the shouts and screams from his family.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>AUGUST</strong>
</p><p>the very ironic day where tommy did almost the exact thing wilbur did a few years ago. the day started almost as normal as could be. it was tommy's fourth birthday. last year, tommy didn't want much for this birthday. he just wanted breakfast at olive garden and spent the rest of the day in the backyard. none of his children had wanted an actual party yet which bummed out philza but he supposed he couldn't force it.</p><p>"daddy! you gotta bring the cupcakes at 1! got it?</p><p>"you won't let me forget, love! you keep repeating it. i remember, i remember. daddies don't forget."</p><p>"well one time this girl in my class kept bragging about her cupcakes and-and she didn't even get any. her daddy forgot.", wilbur said, not aiding the situation in the slightest.</p><p>"this daddy won't. i've got this, toms. trust me."</p><p>"where has trust gotten me before, phil?", tommy said, mocking the conversations between his mother and his father.</p><p>everyone except phil found the joke extremely funny before they heard the bus at their stop down the street.</p><p>"ooo, karma. now, move it! you're gonna miss the bus!"</p><p>groans of protest and rushing and the occasional whine 'stop pushing' was heard as all four boys made their way down the street to make it on the bus in time. and soon enough, tommy's birthday cupcakes arrived.</p><p>"good afternoon, class. we have a very special occasion today. it's someone's birthday."</p><p>it wasn't just any someone. everyone knew whose birthday it was. not only did they have a birthday calendar but tommy bragged about it on the bus, the hallway, math time, and reading time.</p><p>"tommy's! and he's brought us all cupcakes. now, should we eat these cupcakes outside at recess or inside?"</p><p>the class burst into vaguely different shouts until she told the 'indoor people' to go to the left side of the room and the 'outdoor people' to the right. in a class of mostly girls, they had won with inside, making tommy loudly groan. however, the cupcake party was great. everyone was having a good time and they got some extra free time on the class computers. which meant that tommy and tubbo were gonna watch vikkstar until they were dragged away. but, of course, nothing proves to be that perfect for them, right?</p><p>their teacher had left to go to the "bathroom" or at least that's what she told the class.</p><p>"i already told you, tubbo, girls don't pee!"</p><p>"what do they do then?"</p><p>"not pee!", tommy said, with a generally loud laugh.</p><p>a girl who had been giving tubbo a hard time for quite a while slapped tubbo's cupcake into tubbo's lap, cutting tommy's laugh short. it'd been happening for a while but tubbo refused to let tommy do anything about it. claiming that the two were good friends and that it was just horseplay.</p><p>"oops. maybe next time you should give me the cupcake. right, toby?", she said, obviously in a way that tommy wasn't tolerating.</p><p>"it's tubbo. and tubbo, here", tommy wrapped an arm around the smaller boy's shoulder, "doesn't owe you any cupcakes."</p><p>"butt out, thomas. this isn't your place."</p><p>"are too! you're messing with my friend!"</p><p>"tommy-", tubbo tried to aid.</p><p>"no! you think that just because you're a girl that i won't pound you!"</p><p>the whole class went silent. two things that weren't joked about reception/kindergarten. first one being touching a girl. those things obviously had cooties. and secondly, hitting a girl. techno had said something once about hitting girls. he just couldn't remember whether he said that tommy could or couldn't. eh, he'd just trust his gut.</p><p>"do it then, thomas. do it in front of everyone.", she taunted.</p><p>both of their golden hair were seen almost glowing with rage, going perfectly with the deep and intense stare they were giving each other. little did she know, tommy had techno for an older brother. he's not new to this playing field. little did he know, she had an equally scary older brother.</p><p>they tackled each other to the ground. proving to be a fair fight with equal bruises on both after. their fighting consisted of hair pulling, biting, yelling, screaming, shaking, and scratching. definitely an intense one, considering their age.</p><p>at one point she had pinned him down, not yet winning since it was so short lived, but it was the start to everything in between. the great war between two generations.</p><p>"who...even are you?!", tommy said, struggling.</p><p>"drista! drista was-taken!", she said, as tommy pulled her hair to pin her again.</p><p>"poggers. tommy. tommy innit."</p><p>but to their surprise, they weren't the only innits or was-takens in the office that afternoon. although, no one asked everyone could tell. since the fighting people had to be separated, tommy sat next to technoblade and glared at drista who was across from himself. technoblade glared at dream who was across from himself as well. different reasons, sure, but a sense of unity between the siblings made them hate the other one who they weren't fighting too.</p><p>an agreed upon title for their <em>very</em>  and i mean <em>very</em> long war: the gold vs green war.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>SEPTEMBER</strong>
</p><p>as a father (and mother) of four, naturally, it was hard for philza to catch sleep. a fleeting idea for him. while watching the wizard of oz, he found himself drifting. luckily enough for him, his sons were drifting too. once he was finally out, techno grabbed the remote and changed it to "some pirate movie", better known as pirates of the caribbean. let the record show, if their father was awake, they wouldn't be able to watch it. unknowing of his dad's disapproval, techno began the movie.</p><p>"tech? what...what are you doin'?", tommy mumbled quietly, not to wake up anyone.</p><p>"there! look!", techno paused the movie on a frame of a sword, "isn't it beautiful?"</p><p>"i guess. can we watch something else?"</p><p>"no, shoo.", techno said, swatting tommy's sticky fingers from the remote.</p><p>and the older boy continued watching the movie, pausing it on a frame of literally any weapons. swords? duh. bombs? you got it. crossbows? how could he not? and this led the boy on the spiral which is weapons. it became the subject of almost every thought in his mind. sure, he still thought fashion and clothes were cool but it obviously couldn't compare to the deadly items.</p><p>claymore swords proved to be his favorite, crossbows being a close second. now, of course, philza wasn't giving his seven-year-old a metal fork. he obviously wasn't gonna give him a sword. however, this didn't stop young techno. he made construction paper swords- which, for the record, was for techno to make crowns not pretend weapons-. he doodled it on all of his homework. he tried to pocket some from stores.</p><p>let the record be shown that techno wasn't a fan of guns. he respected them, they got the job done but he didn't think they required any skill.</p><p><br/>
"any average joe can shoot a gun, it takes a real man to wield a knife.", he explained to his brothers at the dinner table.</p><p>while his fellow brothers did think weapons were cool, they didn't care about it half as much as techno. after brutally figuring out his father wasn't gonna give him anything of the sort, a bit of a rebellion struck inside his heart. technoblade innit was gonna fuck shit up.</p><p>philza began finding butter knives on the floor of their shared bedroom, which probably should've told him something important right there. but he hesitated...and techno had to stab. let the record show, philza innit keeps his knives in a high cabinet way out of his own reach. and let the record show that techno got into it. the year 3/ 2nd grader decided he was going to show his class for show and tell. let's just say phil wasn't too happy on the ride home.</p><p>"technoblade, you aren't supposed to bring weapons to school."</p><p>no shit, techno wasn't an idiot. he just didn't know you couldn't bring them for show and tell. it shouldn't count if i was showing and telling, techno thought.</p><p>"you're being suspended for a week. no tv and no tablet for a month. and i expect you to write an apology letter to your teacher. is that understood?"</p><p>with no response, phil just assumed that his oldest son got it and kept driving. but, as he was told, when techno got home he wrote his teacher an apology letter.</p><p> </p><p>dear mrs. k,</p>
<ol>
<li>my dad tole me to right you a apologi. witch means say sorry. and this is it. u should specfi that we cant breng nives. that was mien of you. so its kinda ur fault. you shud be supesnsededed. you have no husbend an no kids. u are a sad lady. nd i pity you. you shud get a cat. maybe it'll love u. cuz no 1 else dose. but i was tole to say sorri and this is it. bi a cat, i guess. name it technoblade. that is a veri cool name. i shud know.</li>
</ol><p>ur veri awesum stuedent u dont deserve,</p><p>technoblade</p><p>p.s. u smell funny</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>DECEMBER</strong>
</p><p>on a merry merry christmas, everyone had gotten the toy they wanted. philza had gotten a handmade green bucket hat from his sons(that he refused to take off), tommy had gotten a bike with training wheels that made a 'vroom' sound every time it was picked up, tubbo had gotten a voice changer that got awfully annoying after about a minute, wilbur had gotten a 100 piece collection of fake bugs and techno had gotten a lego set.</p><p>only one person was unhappy about their gift and it was techno. sure, he liked legos. what kid didn't? but he had begged santa for a weapon in his letter. being much nicer than his teacher.</p><p>dear santa n. claus,</p><p>i was very gud this yer. all i want is a wepoen. dad sed its dajurus but i really wont it. i promise promise promise i wont hit my brothers with it.</p><p>please!</p><p>love,</p><p>technoblade bloodgaze-hellbolt innit</p><p> </p><p>and while reading his letter, philza was on the fence. but techno did mind his manners while watching it and became really helpful and considerate after the event at school. he helped his brothers with their homework, brought in groceries, cleaned the bathroom, cleaned his bedroom and kept the toilet seat down. it was definitely an effort and he deserved commemoration.</p><p>"techno, honey, we have one last gift for you."</p><p>techno turned from his place under the tree and crawled toward his father with moans and groans.</p><p>"me and santa were talking and you've been very good this year so here.", philza passed him a wooden sword.</p><p>the sword was engraved with symbols a katana would have, along with techno's full name, and the name of his favorite hero (a character in phil's novel): athena lockhart.</p><p>"no...way! thank you so much, dad!"</p><p>instead of giving a father any sort of hug, he snatched the sword and began swinging it around in the air. about three days after christmas, he broke his promise to santa and hit tubbo on the head with it. his only excuse?</p><p>"santa isn't real. tell him to come take it away himself."</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Year 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>JANUARY</strong>
</p><p>january had the day no one expected to come so very soon. tubbo's fifth birthday. when he finally went back home. easy to say, all of the boys took it really rough. philza did too but he had to be strong for his sons. techno stayed in his room and cried, not even wishing tubbo goodbye. wilbur merely pushed down his feelings but him breaking into tears every five seconds gave him away. and tommy. poor, poor tommy. tommy had difficulty making friends, a lot of people really didn't like him but tubbo did. tubbo had been his best friend since forever. he hadn't even made an effort to have any other friends. and on top of that, then he was going away with a strange man that tommy hadn't met before? his best friend wasn't leaving him without a fight.</p><p>it was really late in the afternoon when the guest arrived. a knock on the door brought tubbo, tommy, and wilbur down the stairs as philza opened the door, "you're the innits, right? i'm schlatt from schlatt's publishers. i'm here for toby."</p><p>tommy pushed through his father so the strange man could look him in the eye, "his name is tubbo."</p><p>"his name is toby. you can't rename someone."</p><p>"can too."</p><p>"can not."</p><p>"see, i just named you an idiot. spelled like i-d-e-o-t."</p><p>philza pushed tommy back and picked him up, "don't be rude to our guest, young man, is that understood? i'm sorry about him. toby, hun?"</p><p>tubbo held a suitcase that looked to big for him in one hand and the box he was dropped off in in the other. being only one when they first met, schlatt wasn't anything like tubbo had imagined. schlatt's hair was messy and unkept under some sports hat and he was wearing jeans and sneakers. he didn't even look like he owned such a big company. he expected him to be wearing a special suit or something a basically look like a god. he was very underwhelmed to say the least.</p><p>"daddy?", tubbo asked.</p><p>little did tubbo- or any of his brothers for that matter -know, that the one word had practically shattered philza's heart. not in sympathy, but in jealousy. all of the long nights of staying up with hot cocoa and changing the sheets on his bed and he had never been called anything close to dad. but schlatt...the dude who had left tubbo in a box at a stranger's house. kinda stung.</p><p>"toby, come here, bud.", schlatt said, as toby (no longer tubbo) ran into his arms for a hug, "thank you, philza innit. schlatt publishers and i will always be in your debt."</p><p>and with that toby left, never to be seen again by the innits (for now...).</p>
<hr/><p>"did you eat lunch?"</p><p>"not yet.", toby said, looking out the window.</p><p>"well, it's your birthday not mine. what do you want?"</p><p>toby found his dad's car really impressive, all things aside, and it was really clean. all white seats with zero stains and everything. nothing he was used to. toby was surprised to be able to touch a cup holder without feeling a sticky substance.</p><p>"hot dogs."</p><p>"you want hot dogs for your birthday?", schlatt said with a groan.</p><p>"yeah, it's tommy's favorite."</p><p>"well tommy isn't here. what do <em>you</em> want, toby?"</p><p>"waffles."</p><p>with another audible groan, schlatt nodded and turned into the parking lot of a diner. both of them ended up getting waffles and toby was just as happy as a bug in a rug. the booth they sat in was near the wall so they were basically able to see everything going on inside and outside of the diner.</p><p>"are you really rich?"</p><p>"i don't know. how much is rich?"</p><p>"5 bucks."</p><p>"in that case, i'm extremely rich."</p><p>his father began drowning his waffles in syrup as toby reached for the syrup to do the same. two floating waffles.</p><p>"what else do you wanna do for your birthday?", schlatt asked as he wiped syrup from off toby's face.</p><p>"i dunno."</p><p>"can you swim?"</p><p>"no."</p><p>"i have a pool. we can have a pool party."</p><p>"just us?"</p><p>"do you want it to be?"</p><p>"i do."</p><p>"fine then.", schlatt said looking down to his phone. tubbo eventually began kicking his legs which eventually began hitting his father, with a extremely annoyed glare, he got the older man's attention again, "can i help you with something?"</p><p>"how old are you?"</p><p>"older than you.", his father said taking another sip of his milkshake.</p><p>"how much older? 'cause wilbur and techno are 8 years old."</p><p>"much older than that."</p><p>"really?"</p><p>"yes, toby."</p><p>"wow. so what did dinosaurs look like?"</p>
<hr/><p>toby skipped behind schlatt expectantly with a large smile as he looked around the large lobby. he only wished his brothers were there to see it too. maybe he could get that for his birthday.</p><p>"good afternoon, sir. i'm afraid there is a child following you.", the woman at the front desk said, "shall we apprehend them?"</p><p>"no, nihachu. this is toby. he'll be staying with me from now on."</p><p>"sorry to pry, sir, but since when do you have a son?"</p><p>"you're right. you should be sorry to pry. say bye to nihachu, toby."</p><p>the little boy turned around to the...awfully familiar woman and gave her a wave before following his father as fast as he could (since schlatt really didn't want to slow down in the slightest).</p><p>schlatt opened his front door to find his partner in the kitchen naked. while he might be arguably a bad father, that wasn't a nice way to start off a time at anyone's house. you know, unless it's like a stripper's house.</p><p>"q!", schlatt said, covering toby's eyes.</p><p>"jeez! why do you have a child here?", the man argued back.</p><p>"i told you he was coming! just forget it. leave, quackity. i'm spending the day with toby."</p><p>with his eyes still shut, toby smiled and mumbled, "hi, quackity."</p><p>"hi, toby."</p>
<hr/><p>toby's room was completely bee-themed. bee sheets, bee curtains, bee paintings, bee carpet, and bee decals every now and then. not to mention, it was significantly large considering it was for a 5 year old who hadn't had his own room as far back as he can remember. there was also a fair array of plants and flowers everywhere. toby was in absolute shock as his father shifted uncomfortably in the doorway.</p><p>"look. i don't know what i did here. when you were a baby you liked them. i guess it's kind of dumb to think that you'd like it now and all but-", the young businessman was cut off by toby giving him a big hug.</p><p>"thank you! thank you so much! i love it, daddy!"</p><p>"oh...well, you're welcome."</p><p>toby ran back to get the framed picture collage on the bedside to bring his dad, "hey, who's this?"</p><p>the collage had three photos. the first one was schlatt when he was younger in the back of a classroom- a literal day before graduation -and he was holding and showing off toby in the middle of english class. the second was slightly earlier than the first. the first day he got to meet the one and only toby. he was in the hospital and- assuming the picture was taken at a bad moment -both of them were looking at each other with confusion and slight disgust. the last one was probably the latest photo he had of toby. it looked pretty late at night and the father-son duo were drinking cokes and eating oreos in the kitchen. not the kitchen he lived in now, his mother's kitchen. once toby moved out, schlatt had to move out.</p><p>"eh. us."</p><p>"oh that's nice. you looked different when you were younger."</p><p>"i mean i was like 17 in those."</p><p>"oh my god! you must be like really old now!"</p>
<hr/><p>after having a fun time in the pool (and toby occasionally drowning), it was time to go back inside.</p><p>"alright, go to bed.", schlatt said, pointing to the bed as if tubbo was a dog.</p><p>"we just swam, i need to take a shower."</p><p>"well do you know how to shower yourself?"</p><p>"i guess."</p><p>"what do you mean you 'guess'?"</p><p>"never done it before."</p><p>"good god, toby. just do it in the morning.", his father turned to leave before he was met with toby tugging on his shirt.</p><p>"what do i wear to sleep?"</p><p>"i don't know, choose something."</p><p>"but i don't know where my pjs are!"</p><p>"fine, i'll go get you a tshirt."</p><p>quickly running upstairs, schlatt rummaged through one of his drawers and found an old tee. when he gave it to toby, he was shocked to find that the five-year-old was comfortably changing in front of him.</p><p>"woah! what the- what the fuck are you doing?"</p><p>"oooo. you just said a bad word."</p><p>"i did! do you make it a habit to change in front of change men, toby?"</p><p>"no but you're my dad, right?"</p><p>"i guess but still, it's pretty weird.</p><p>"so i can't wear it?"</p><p>"no...", the child obviously didn't get his point, "you can have it, tobes."</p><p>but still, even as a father, something about child nudity didn't seem right.</p>
<hr/><p>about three hours into sleeping, the new and improved father was definitely not suspecting his son to sneak into his room this late at night. at first, admittedly, he was scared but quickly calmed down when he saw toby's silhouette in the door frame. without investigating more, he laid back down at put a pillow over his head with a groan.</p><p>"can i sleep with you?", toby whispered, picking up the pillow off his head.</p><p>"no."</p><p>"please. it's really big and scary here."</p><p>"no. go to sleep."</p><p>"okay.", toby started sniffling as he walked back until he felt to large arms pick him up. schlatt. toby snuggled into his father's chest quietly, just embracing the warmth. the younger boy liked his father's bed much more than his own, he even found schlatt's snoring to be similar to tommy's.</p><p>...tommy.</p><p>the tommy he wouldn't see until <em>many</em> years later.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>MARCH</strong>
</p><p>'with the capture of one of the warriors by the king's guards, a large peace of the warrior family was missing.' the end. phil could only hope to be able to write a sequel.</p><p>"dad! techno is taking forever and a day in the bathroom!"</p><p>"i'm doing something, wilbur!"</p><p>"well do it somewhere else!"</p><p>"this is the only bathroom!"</p><p>"not my problem! dad!"</p><p>philza put down his morning coffee because apparently they couldn't figure it out. at this rate, he was definitely gonna have to drive them to school. before he got to the bathroom, he heard tommy's snoring too? they were so gonna be late. without question.</p><p>"tommy, honey, wake up please!", phil said in his sweetest voice, his manner definitely changed when talking to his 8 year olds however, "william and technoblade innit, what in the hell is going on here? get out of the bathroom, techno!"</p><p>"i can't! it hasn't dried!"</p><p>"what hasn't dried?!", phil said, taking a risk and just opening the door (the boys had managed to break the lock years ago).</p><p>techno had dyed his hair brown. not just the tips or anything. full head. brown. his ex-wife is gonna kill him.</p><p>"techno! you weren't gonna tell anyone?!"</p><p>"you'd try and stop me!"</p><p>"fuck yeah, i would've!"</p><p>both boys stopped with wide eyes, "ooooooo, you said a bad word."</p><p>"how long have you had it on?", philza said, rubbing his temples.</p><p>"i dunno, 35 minutes."</p><p>"good, in that case, you need to wash it out now.", he said, officially making his way into the bathroom, "wilbur, go get tommy ready."</p><p>"but i didn't brush my teeth!"</p><p>"you can in a second!"</p><p>deciding they'd all hear the lecture after techno's stunt, wilbur sighed and did as told.</p>
<hr/><p>"so now we're hitting classmates, dying our hair without permission, and being late to school. what's next, techno? please, tell me! i'd love to be prepared!", philza said as he walked the three into school.</p><p>"hey, dad?"</p><p>"what, wilbur?"</p><p>"you're yelling at wilbur not me."</p><p>fuck. they did look really similar and it didn't help that they were in uniforms.</p><p>"i'm sorry, will. techno, you know it was for you, okay? anyways, if i'm being totally honest, your hair looks nice."</p><p>"no, it doesn't. bye, dad."</p><p>wilbur pushed techno lightly as philza left the school building. both walking to class as slow as possible (they were late anyways).</p><p>"so why'd you <em>really</em> do it?"</p><p>"gonna beat up dream. now i can pin on you."</p><p>"are you serious?"</p><p>"100%."</p><p>"eh, okay."</p><p>"don't worry, it wasn't a question. i honestly could not have cared less if you disagreed."</p>
<hr/><p>recess. techno had lowered his voice to sound more like wilbur all day and teachers couldn't tell the difference. surely, dream couldn't either. recess was filled with year ones all the way to year fives, he was definitely gonna have to search. his scanning was interrupted by being tackled by the one and only, dream.</p><p>"you idiot! you think i couldn't tell the difference between you and wilbur? good try! actually, know what? bad try!" </p><p>"this isn't for you! i'm not afraid of <em>you</em>!", techno said, pinning dream for a mere second before being pinned himself.</p><p>"oh wow! the blood god is afraid of something! that's new!"</p><p>"oh wow! the piss baby is afraid of everything! that's old!", techno mocked.</p><p>"shut up, technoblade!"</p><p>"make me, dream!"</p><p>"i will make you!"</p><p>their fighting lasted much longer than expected, it's usually five minutes or so. though, the crowd watching was much bigger, even a few teachers just wanted to see who would win.</p><p>"you fight like a girl! my sister can fight better than you!"</p><p>"so you hit little girls, dream? do you think i can get that on tape?"</p><p>"shut up! i never said i hit her!", dream whined, dropping his guard and finally letting techno get a good pin.</p><p>he had saw it in the movie the other day. hands on wrists, body on top of victim, knee right above the waist, and one knee on the other side below the waist. impossible to get out of.</p><p>the pin didn't last long as two security guards tore them apart. as they were both dragged down the hallway to the principal's office, a slight realization of how often this had really occurred. they even had the time to engrave their initials in the chair across from the principal's office in year two.</p><p>"i won."</p><p>"we're tied now. big whoop."</p><p>"are not. it's 47 to 46."</p><p>"no, it's 46 to 46."</p><p>"are you counting tommy's wins?"</p><p>"no! why would i?"</p><p>"then you're just making up numbers!"</p><p>"you know i won that time!"</p><p>"you bit me! it's foul play!"</p><p>"is not! everything's legal in love and war, piss baby."</p><p>"so you wouldn't mind me beating up wilbur then? the real one?"</p><p>"as long as you don't mind me beating up fundy."</p><p>two topics they never touched. dream could beat up tommy but not wilbur. techno could and has beat up drista but not fundy. fundy and wilbur. they weren't apart of the war and it'd be messed up to touch them, an unspoken rule. </p><p>"fine. will's safe."</p><p>"good, fundy is safe then. for now, anyways."</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>headcanons discussed:<br/>bee liking came from schlatt, not sbi<br/>dadschlatt (obvi)<br/>brown hair techno<br/>techno had a higher voice than wilbur when they were younger</p><p> </p><p>also the lack of tommy in this chappo was intentional, he's griefing or whatever</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Year 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>tw: mentions of corporal punishment and possible grooming</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>MARCH</strong>
</p><p>tommy, trying not to dwell too much on feelings of sadness (which coincidentally weren't often talked about in their house), pushed down his feelings with what most would call reckless teasing. he'd make fun of people, lie, and cheat on tests (that he could probably ace on his own). tommy's teasing had some limit, of course. he wouldn't hit other children. he probably would if not for having a big brother like technoblade.</p><p>"if you hit anyone, i promise you, i will hit you ten times harder. is that understood?"</p><p>and techno never lied.</p><p>"except for drista and dream. you can curb-stomp them for all i care."</p><p>one fateful day held a lot of promise from tommy however. he was pulling girls' hair at recess until he felt a hand on his shoulder. a tall man, not a teacher as far as tommy knew, who gave him some weird half smile.</p><p>"hello, tommy."</p><p>tommy jerked his shoulder back, "i don't speak to strangers."</p><p>"i'm sam. seems like we aren't strangers anymore, hmm?"</p><p>"what do you want? if you can't tell, i'm busy!", tommy attempted to run away, before he was jerked back with a pull on his shoulder from this sam.</p><p>"come with me, you won't regret it."</p><p>with a shrug from tommy, sam took tommy to the dark area on the side of schoolyard, out of sight from any teachers. tommy, even being the rebel he was, hadn't gone back here at all.</p><p>"come on! someone's gonna tell on me if i go back here!"</p><p>"i'm a grown up. they can't tell on a grown up, tommy."</p><p>"i guess so.", tommy said, as he pushed his back against the brick wall of the school, "what do you want?"</p><p>"well, you're a mature kid?"</p><p>"obviously. it doesn't get more grown up than me!"</p><p>"good. very good. tell your dad you're gonna sleep over at a new friends house for the weekend, alright?"</p><p>"am i gonna sleep at your house?"</p><p>"yes, tommy. unless you're...you know...too much of a baby to do it. i mean, you can back out now."</p><p>"no! no. i'll do it."</p><p>"good. i'll pick you up after school."</p><p>"yes, sir-i mean sam!"</p><hr/><p>"so you're telling me you made a friend?"</p><p>"and he invited you over to his house?"</p><p>"without you threatening him?"</p><p>tommy grinned brightly at his family, "yup, yup, yup."</p><p>"i don't buy it for a second, dad.", techno said, finishing his vegetables.</p><p>"come on. i think it's rather nice tommy made a friend, don't you?"</p><p>wilbur picked up his plate to bring to the sink, "dad, i don't even know anyone named sam. tech?" techno shook his head 'no' as well, "don't you think that's a little sketch?"</p><p>"er...well, sam is probably in tommy's grade, right, tommy?"</p><p>"i don't know. met him at recess. he's really tall."</p><p>"doubt it'll last longer than a week.", wilbur laughed.</p><p>"probably using you to cheat off of.", technoblade added as he laughed with his twin brother.</p><p>"i don't even do my homework- sorry dad -what's he gonna cheat off of?"</p><p>"you're smart. probably your tests, genius."</p><p>in a fear of rejection from sam, tommy didn't come to school on friday. he claimed he had 'important events with important people' when sam asked why. the only important events tommy had that weekend was probably video games and sodas with his dad and brothers. but, of course, he couldn't tell sam that. but, whole heartedly, tommy did believe that sam was in his grade. unsure if he was a teacher or a student, though. but their conversations continued. usually at recess but sometimes sam would check him out of school to have ice cream with him. a very dangerous relationship between the two indeed. no concerns yet, however.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>JUNE</strong>
</p><p>to toby, his life was now like the movies. the only child with a super rich family and a super cool life. and he had actually gotten it. sure, from time to time, he wished for some sort of sibling but was quickly informed on how it "didn't work like that" and how it "took time and effort". and on one special day, jschlatt had came to an astute observation on just how tubbo had become.</p><p>toby woke up alone, sort of, anyways. he hadn't been sleeping in his room for a while and ended up sleeping his dad's bed a lot, so that's where he woke up. toby quickly jumped backwards when he saw nihachu in the corner of the room on her phone.</p><p>"gah! you scared the shit out of me, nihachu! what's wrong with you?"</p><p>"your father left early this morning, sir. and i really don't think you should be swearing."</p><p>toby got up and went into his own bedroom's closet, "and i don't like pedo women following me around all day. look like neither of us can have what we fucking want."</p><p>"sir! i've already told you that i'm not a pedophile!", nihachu said, getting rather frustrated.</p><p>"uh-huh. no, i'm sure all adults like watching children get dressed. would you like a better view?", tubbo said, threatening to pull back the closet door for her to see him (although he was fully clothed, she didn't know that). with a quiet scream, she ran into the hallway of the building, leaving tubbo in the apartment alone.</p><p>his style had changed vastly ever since he started living with his father. no more cute sweaters and overalls, he's worn his green hoodie five days in a row. and today was going to be the sixth day. he grabbed a pair of sunglasses off his dresser despite it being dark and gloomy outside and made his way past nihachu, avoiding her completely.</p><p>nihachu, before tubbo, merely cleaned the house and made dinner. with the addition to tubbo in the house, she found herself becoming his nanny. at first, it was more of a choice thing. tubbo would come down stairs to the lobby in search for his dad and ended it up hanging out with nihachu the entire day. but with age and a desperate need to be like his father, toby became a little schlatt. and not in a good way.</p><p>"where are you going, sir?", she asked, exhaustedly following the little boy.</p><p>"out.", toby replied, as he asked the valet to pull around the car. to make matters worse, the valet didn't even protest to the child.</p><p>"well, let me drive you. it could be dangerous out there."</p><p>"i'll manage, nihachu. thank you."</p><p>"toby.", she said, with somewhat of a scolding manner.</p><p>"fine. but you can't get out the fucking car when we get there."</p><hr/><p>even being lost in central new york, it wasn't going to be hard to find schlatt publishers. it had a large 's' on it, not to mention it's the largest building there (in width and in height). neglecting tubbo's commands, nihachu followed him into the building with a series of begs. mostly "not heres" and "you're gonna be in so much trouble". as far as tubbo has lived with schlatt he has never been in trouble with the man. not once. then again, schlatt didn't spend much time at home. not in an abusive way like before but as in, he's working a 5 to 9 with crazy schedule changes to provide for tubbo in the first place.</p><p>tubbo stormed into the meeting room, relentlessly walking away from the woman who just didn't want to lose her job. as the investors stood up in what appeared to be anger, nihachu straightened herself off and hung her head low in shame.</p><p>"sorry, sir. i didn't expect him to run off. we'll be going now.", she got down on one knee and grabbed tubbo's wrist, not yet pulling it. but the little boy could tell she was thinking about it and yanked his hand away, (accidentally?) backhanding her in the process.</p><p>"unhand me, you fucking cunt!"</p><p>the woman gave another silent gasp, holding her face in shock. the investors looked at schlatt with curious eyes. all of the attention was on him and toby.</p><p>"please excuse us, i'll be right back.", schlatt said, grabbing toby by his arm and escorting him into his private office.</p><p>his office was much scarier with the curtains shut, not to mention toby's feet couldn't even touch the ground. he lightly squirmed in his seat, waiting for his father to say something.</p><p>"would you like to explain your behavior out there, young man?"</p><p>"what behavior?", tubbo asked, trying to maintain his "cool" look before it was brutally teared down by his father slamming his hands on the desk.</p><p>"you were acting like a little brat out there, toby. you know you were."</p><p>"sorry, sir."</p><p>schlatt rubbed his temples, "don't say sorry to me. you're going to need to apologize to nihachu. have you hit her before?"</p><p>"what?"</p><p>"have you hit her before, toby?!", his father said, raising his voice.</p><p>"no! i haven't!"</p><p>"just so we're clear, if i ever hear about you hitting <em>anyone</em>, i promise you, i will light your ass up. do you understand?"</p><p>"yes, sir."</p><p>"good. now, you're gonna go in there and apologize to nihachu. you're gonna tell she has a week off because you're going to be sitting in this office everyday until you learn how to show people respect. do you think you're better than her, tubbo?"</p><p>"well, i don't know.", toby squirmed, not knowing how to answer the question.</p><p>"i'll answer it for you. you aren't. swimming in money or on the side of the street, you're both people. now go before i change my mind and decide to make sure you can't walk right now."</p><p>toby nodded profusely and quickly ran off to apologize. his father was okay with raising an atheist, okay with raising a trans person, and even okay with raising a thief. but he was not okay with raising a little bitch.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>DECEMBER</strong>
</p><p>3 days before christmas. everything was as busy as ever. well not really for tubbo and his dad. one of them, not naming names, never really celebrated christmas but when he found out that his lost son loved christmas more than anything, he still didn't make an effort. but still, not naming names. could be anyone.</p><p>"pack your bags. we're gonna go on a christmas trip."</p><p>"oh really? where?"</p><p>"florida. too much snow up here."</p><p>"but snow is a big part of christmas!"</p><p>"says who?"</p><p>"says everybody! come on! i had this great christmas idea!", tubbo said, as he began jumping up and down.</p><p>"spill.", schlatt said, searching the fridge for something to drink.</p><p>"okay, we go spend christmas with your family.", the little boy squealed, adding a set of jazz hands and sparkle fingers.</p><p>"first off, our. and secondly, no."</p><p>"why not? are you ashamed of me? you seem ashamed of me." schlatt picked up his one and only son and put him on the counter to tickle away the pout he gave him.</p><p>"now, why would you think that, tubs?"</p><p>"well, i overheard the clerks talking. mostly about how you deny having a son to the press and stuff and how only a few of your workers know about me."</p><p>"clerks are idiots, alright? i love you."</p><p>"i never said you didn't love me. i said you were ashamed of me."</p><p>his dad sighed lightly, not in frustration, but in the deep down knowing that he was right. </p><p>"fuck it. you want to my family? let's meet my family."</p><p>"ooo! thank you, thank you, thank you! do they live where it snows?"</p><p>"that's all it does in montana."</p><p>"is mama q coming with us? to meet your family?"</p><p>"stop calling him that. and absolutely not."</p><hr/><p>once their flight had landed in helena, montana, they quickly drove into schlatt's childhood neighborhood since it was already generally dark. tubbo couldn't see much in the night but he could tell just how thick the snow was on everyone's lawn. in the shoveled driveway, schlatt began to give his son somewhat of a pep talk while tightening the small boy's black and yellow scarf.</p><p>"before we get in here, a few rules. nonna not grandma. if you're uncles are laughing about something together, run. just run. um...if someone offers you to do something for any amount of money, decline. it's a trap."</p><p>"yeah, yeah, dad. i got it."</p><p>"do you, though? also, if they ask, it's toby. not tubbo. and don't talk about philza."</p><p>"dad.", tubbo whined.</p><p>"i know, i know. let's go."</p><p>toby knocked on the door while his father held their suitcase in this right hand. a woman with short grey hair looked at toby, then schlatt, then back to toby.</p><p>"oh my goodness, they're here! schlatt and toby are here!"</p><p>light groans were heard from the inside that made schlatt roll his eyes.</p><p>"mami, can we go inside? i'm freezing my balls off out here."</p><p>she flicked his ear as she moved to the side, "mind your manners. you're not too old to be taken over my knee, you know that? anyways, i'm leaving. i left some money on the fridge. no one touch my stove. and that means no touching it with an object. that means no 'bumping into it'. and that means no--", </p><p>"wait, where are you going?", schlatt interrupted.</p><p>"all six of you home? why in hell would i stay here? i'm going to a hotel."</p><p>"but toby really wanted to spend time with you." it seems like tubbo wasn't the only one who wanted this.</p><p>"and i'll be right here...january first. bye now."</p><p>a series of goodbyes were heard as the only woman of the house left. the peace didn't last very long as jschlatt was abruptly tackled by noah.</p><p>"my 40 bucks please."</p><p>"i specified that he couldn't hit you in the 10 seconds after for the 40."</p><p>schlatt pushed his brother off and kicked him in the side a few times for good measure.</p><p>"kicks don't count as hitting."</p><p>"they so do."</p><p>putting toby in front of him (as a shield), he pushed the brunette in the direction of the five on the couch, "this is toby, your nephew. that ass over there is noah, the child is travis, the one who acts like a child is cooper, the old man is ted, and then there's charlie."</p><p>"what the fuck does 'and charlie' mean?", his brother asked with a shrug.</p><p>"if you don't know, that's why."</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>...</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>a mf christmas special in the middle of february??????<br/>yes.<br/>and it's a chapter-length christmas special.</p><p>also you know who was purposely left out :) we don't need to possible pedos in this story :)</p><p>also also tubbo's quote fucking shocked ME...and I WROTE IT. "i never said you didn't love me. i said you were ashamed of me." BRUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Year Ten-Point-Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>sbi on my mind ngl<br/>sorry for late updates kind of not really but also kind of</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>DECEMBER</strong>
</p><p>if waking up in his twin bed from adolescence wasn't bad enough, when he woke up, tubbo wasn't by his side. for reference, he had been sleeping with the small lad for about two years and has never woken up with him gone. not to mention, they were in an entirely different state.</p><p>he quickly sat up, hitting his head on the bunk bed above him- he was much shorter before he moved out, apparently. though, even when he was short enough to have that kind of bed, he didn't want it. he remembered the exact day it happened too. traumatizing for all six men to this day.</p><p>
  <em>his mother had gotten pregnant with travis, and previously, schlatt had his own room. ted and noah had shared one and cooper and charlie had shared one. the cooper-and-charlie room association made sense, not so much the first. cooper and charlie were twins and although they got along terribly, the age difference made sense. but there was a three year difference between noah and and ted. only significant in their house. but on the other hand, there was only a year apart between him and noah. why, you may ask?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>jschlatt was a mama's boy. probably still is. he'd been sleeping in her bed since he was three and, eventually, she got tired of it and agreed to just get him his own room. and it worked out fine, just fine. until ted- the oldest child -got jealous. and when ted thought something, you can most certainly believe that cooper and charlie were right behind him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>they decided to bring up the point that schlatt was way too old to still be sleeping in a crib. and after seeing a bunch of mom blogs with the age 3, his mom folded. the next day, everything in his room had been moved to ted and noah's room.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>but that didn't work out either. for the record, the age difference between the youngest boys and ted shouldn't have been significant but ted threw a fit about it almost everyday. he wasn't yet nine- when two children of opposite sex should stop sharing a room -but all 3 were also boys. so in his mother's eyes anyway, little ted was going to be sharing a room with little noah and little schlatt until he was about 15.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>luckily, that transition didn't last very long either. once travis was born, they moved into a new house with only 2 bedrooms. apparently the new house had "better schools, better neighborhoods, and bigger yards". wow, how very interesting. ted was already in the sixth grade when he should be in the second; schlatt was already in the fourth when he should be in kindergarten. however, neither were too social outside their family and could care less about a "better neighborhood" or a "bigger yard". noah was rather sensitive- still is -and would rather smaller schools, smaller neighborhoods, and he honestly couldn't have cared less about the yard. cooper and charlie caused a lot of trouble in school so, since most of their time was spent being grounded, the outside world was nonexistent to them. their mother hoped that travis would be an outside kid and he was but his brothers made sure to beat it out of him as soon as possible.</em>
</p><p>but yes to put it simply: shared rooms. schlatt got up and began searching the house. his mother's room, the living room, the kitchen, the backyard. nothing. he stopped in the kitchen, out of breath, as he looked over to see his oldest brother cooking something strange that appeared to be boiling.</p><p>"ted, you know where toby is?"</p><p>"not a clue."</p><p>"also, what the hell are you making?"</p><p>ted shrugged, "we'll see when it's finished."</p><p>good enough answer for him. he paced the house and began yelling- habit, he knew tubbo wasn't home -, waking up the rest of his brothers. after a quick headcount, he noticed that cooper was gone. after a bit more pacing and a bit more yelling, two and two were put together.</p><p>"i'm just gonna call the cops on him."</p><p>"woah, woah, woah! a bit harsh, don't you think?", charlie asked.</p><p>"no fucking way. i haven't seen him in years and the next thing i know, he's stolen my six year old."</p><p>"i guess that is kinda messed--"</p><p>"no way! we don't call the cops on family, that includes cooper!", ted said, eating the strange green substance from before.</p><p>"fine, but he literally has two min--", schlatt said, cut off by the sound of cooper walking in with tubbo on his back.</p><p>ignoring his brother entirely, he swooped up toby and brought him into a very deep hug. and before he could catch himself, he basically dropped tubbo and played it off with a smooth nod.</p><p>"cooper, it's the middle of winter. would it have killed you to find a jacket before your kidnapping?"</p><p>"winter is a mindset. and besides, it's not a kidnapping if he consents."</p><p>a series of disagreements and yells in his direction turned into a series of laughs. it really had been a while since all five brothers had been in the same place, let alone laughing in the same place. even though he moved out at 17, the last time they'd all actually laughed together was probably when schlatt was 13. before he went off to college and moved on with his life.</p><p>schlatt got up and pushed cooper out of the way as he picked up toby and took him back to the bedroom, the shouts of his brothers still heard in the living room.</p><p>"we should move to montana.", tubbo said, with a groan as he flopped backwards on the bed.</p><p>"no chance."</p><p>"how come? your brothers miss you."</p><p>"i mean, who wouldn't miss me? have you seen my beautiful face?", schlatt asked with a playful smile, just hoping the tubbo would drop it.</p><p>"i'm serious!"</p><p>"who said i wasn't?", his father inquired, looking more closely for tubbo's sweater from the suitcase.</p><p>"dad."</p><p>"tobias."</p><p>"i wanna live here with my uncles."</p><p>"you met them yesterday. relax. we can visit, deal."</p><p>toby crossed his arms and stomped his foot, his dad could sense an upcoming tantrum, "no deal! i wanna stay here!"</p><p>"toby, i'm being serious now. you need to chill."</p><p>"i'm being serious!", toby said, beginning to kick the air.</p><p>"dude. i said we can visit. do you wanna leave now? because we can leave right now with that attitude."</p><p>though he wouldn't admit it to save his life, it was mostly in tubbo's tantrums that they seemed related. they even looked a lot alike. they'd both get all flushed in the face and embarrassed after being yelled at. not to mention, the fact that both were just so so stubborn.</p><p>
  <em>when schlatt was younger, the boys weren't allowed to eat spaghetti. at all. but since he had never tried it, he never mourned not having it. the anti-spaghetti rule wasn't his fault- surprisingly -it was a mixture of ted's, cooper's and charlie's. whenever they'd eat the noodles, they'd always make this huge mess that their mother had to clean up.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>but fate had its way. for lunch at school, they'd had spaghetti. charlie had told him beforehand that he wasn't allowed to eat it because he was "allergic" but when has that ever stopped them? he thought it was pretty good so a few nights later, he asked his mom for spaghetti at dinner time.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"you're allergic to spaghetti, sweetheart."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"no, i'm not. i had it the other day. and look"- he paused to do a spin -"i'm perfectly fine."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"well i was already planning on getting you boys pizza." bribery. schlatt could tell. she hated the smell of pizza, she hated the sight of pizza, and she really hated pizza guys.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"well i don't want pizza.", he said, mocking her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"i'm very sorry you don't want pizza, schlatt. you can always get something out of the kitchen."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"i don't want something from out the kitchen! what i want is spaghetti!", he yelled with the addition of a stomped foot. he had even raised his brothers' attention. it was far too late to swallow his pride and go with pizza. all eyes were on him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"listen here, mister, i'm not going to argue with you. you aren't getting spaghetti.", she said, a serious attempt to be the bigger person.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"no! we're getting spaghetti! and that's the end of it!", he yelled (which bordered onto a scream).</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"schlatt! it's not even that big of a deal!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"yes, it is! you don't listen to me! you don't listen to anyone else but yourself! you don't care about me or anybody in this house! i wish you would shrivel up and die already!", he yelled at her and stormed off.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>if what he said wasn't bad enough, he ran into her table with her favorite vase on it and even gasped himself when it shattered onto the floor. the vase was probably the most expensive thing they owned, the most expensive thing they ever owned. it didn't end well for him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"meet me in my bedroom. i'll be there in a second.", she said, trying her best to use her calm voice.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>there was only one reason their mother wanted you in her room and it wasn't a pretty one. he left the room with a slight sting on his hand and a bruised ego. he didn't even look up when he passed by his brothers. he'd rather die than let them see his tear stained cheeks.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>and after a bit of yelling in the living room, his brothers came back, just as angry as he was before. they'd been yelled at for stupid stuff because of him. whatever happened, he knew he deserved it. he didn't apologize the next day. to anyone for that matter, he had too much pride.</em>
</p><p>but that was nothing like what was happening with tubbo. tubbo was sort of right. tubbo was always sort of right.</p>
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